Anyone also not ready/in the mood for Christmas yet.... I know I'm not. I mean thanksgiving JUST past and you expect me to have already recovered from all those people. Then right after that I'm supposed to talk to more peoples. I don't know about y'all but people give me stress, anxiety, and make me just over all want to kill myself....... Happy! That's one reason I ALWAYS try to either be HAPPY or pretend to be. It's a little sad and I think only worked for a little while, cause now when I get mad people think that somethings wrong and hate me. UGGHHHH LIFE!!!!!
Nothing seems to help me, and I refuse to talk to any body even my closest friends just cause I'm scared....[they probably just found out] I hate being scared........ cause I'm always scared every corner I turn And constantly looking behind me and I'm not asking for pity filled looks and comets. I just want to talk. I'm sure some people understand? I haven't even had a hard life compared to others I'm still going through it any way, but that's another thing that's killing me why cant I just be happy with the life I have. I know my family loves me but I feel as though they don't and that's over powers everything in my head. You know when you take surveys in school about your life and you literally just pick all of the best ones so that you seem happy..... Well that's what I do.... And I don't want to I just want to be happy for real I don't want a forced smile I want a real one. I haven't been genuinely happy in to long.
No story's to day I just wanted to talk but hope you peppers joyed this sad sad chapter but thank you all and GOOD NIGHT
YOU ARE READING
My feelings with no feelings... Yay....?
RandomSaying my feelings to all of you peppers I just came up with that is that weird? It doesn't matter this is supposed to be a book I can be open but I will probably not update a ton mostly cause lately I've been having some low key trust issues so hop...
