War Over You (TomTord)

Chapter 13

A whole year had passed and the boys have really been pushing through training.  Some nights I would let Tom come sleep in my tent.  It's a shame that we are really not supposed to share tents, though he complains his is always cold.

I walked out to Pat and Paul who were over looking the valley with the training equipment.

"Oi, I'm going to bed early tonight.  We should all do so, the young soldiers need their sleep to have the strength to train.  They have not gotten sleep in a while."

"Ok, I think that is a reasonable choice." Paul said to Pat before turning to the boys who were running laps.

"Alright boys, Red Leader said that you can stop."

Tom, Edd, and Matt lined up on the grass and as I walked past them, they saluted me.  I had been training them extra hard because I didn't want them getting hurt on the field, or worse... dying.

"Alright boys, tonight is special,". I started. "You have all trained very hard and I am giving you a break."  I gave them all a serious look with arms behind my back.

My eyes softened and I opened my arms. "Come on guys, you can relax, we're gonna have a good time tonight. You guys can too!" I turned around and pointed at Paul and Pat who were up on a hill. They smiled at each other. "Yea don't think I forgot you guys are married."  They all breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed their postures. 

~Time Skip~

We were all sitting around a fire talking about all the adventures they went on.  Tom and I took a seat together on a log, Matt and Edd took another, and Paul and Pat shared the last one. We were all smiling and enjoying our time until Paul brought up a question none of us wanted to answer.  

"So, boys, let's just get real here for a moment.  We never discussed what would happen if one of you died."  We all looked around at each other nervously.  I finally spoke up.

"They won't.  I have trained them to be almost as good as me."  I said confidently. 

"Sir, people do die.  We need to face these facts."  Paul and Pat looked at each other.  "I have to face facts that every time I go to war, could be my last, or Pat's last."  I looked at Tom who was sitting next to me. 

This thought has always been in the back of my mind but I never really wanted to acknowledge it.  What if I lose them? My thoughts started getting darker. Would we just move on or would we have to stop everything?  Was this even a good idea to bring them?  What if the training isn't enough? It's never enough, they need battle field experiences.  They haven't gone through what I have gone through, they have not had soldiers die at their feet or in their arms.  I started to rethink this decision of allowing them to fight.  Me, being one man, is a smaller target, hence it is harder to shoot me, than it is to shoot one of four targets.  My eyes started to burn as tears welled up.  I didn't want them to see me break, so I got up and walked back to my grey-green tent.  When I finally got inside I sat in the middle with my knees to my chest. 

What kind of friend am I?  I'm the kind that send their closest friends to their deaths.

I started sobbing into my jacket. I'm a bad friend.

The tent opened and I turned around to see Tom.  More tears fell as he put his arms around me.  I buried my face in his chest.  I must look so stupid.  A leader, crying about a death that did not even happen.  Suck it up Tord!  He brought me closer as I tried to pull my self back together, but only succeeded in losing it all. 

"I'm so sorry Tom."

"What is there to be sorry for?"

I looked at him, he was so calm... HOW?!  I melted into the embrace as his warmth engulfed me.   I closed my eyes and almost drifted into sleep until he spoke up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"  I nodded.