Brown eyes staring at me. Curly and fluffy brown hair tickling my nose. Dimpled smile and loud laugh that made my heart flutter in my chest. That voice that I could hear forever. Long arms snaked around my neck. Soft lips grazing over my chin. Gentle hands caressing my cheeks.
My phone ringing was the thing that woke me up. I grabbed it with my eyes still closed and checked for the reason I had gotten my deep slumber interrupted.
4 missed calls from Dan
My heart skipped a beat. What could he possibly want? I checked the hour. 3 AM. Huh, how typical of him. I rolled my eyes and went back to sleep.
Five minutes hadn't passed when another call entered. I groaned loudly and ignored it. I wasn't going to let him win. My phone buzzed.
I grabbed it again and saw that he had left a voicemail. What a stubborn asshole.
"...Phil" he slurred, and I wished I could say I wasn't used to hear him like this. I also wish I could say that hearing his voice again didn't make my heart flutter. "...I miss you...so much..." he laughed bitterly, "why are you ignoring me?"
I took a deep breath and opened our last conversation.
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I hadn't bothered him since that day. It wasn't easy, and with him calling so often, it was way too hard to ignore what had happened between us. I knew he wanted me out of his life forever, or so I thought and so he said when he was sober.
We used to be the best friends that ever existed. Dan and Phil. You couldn't have one without having the other. We had become a whole package. I have to admit that there was a time when we were more than friends but, people make mistakes and maybe us forgetting that fact was what broke us apart.
He used to tell me how much he appreciated what we had. Hell, I had been there when he was 18, lost and confused about the world ahead of him. I used to tell him how grateful I was for having him in my life. I might have saved the kid, but he also saved me. We used to laugh at the most stupid things. We had the strongest bond, I could literally just say "pink pencil" and he'd know what I was talking about. Sometimes (and maybe just accidentally) we would stare at each other for long periods of time, no words needed and it'll be just like having a conversation. Our friends said that we looked at each other like we had hung the stars in the sky. We called it friendship.
We were all shy compliments and innocent teasing until one day we both got wasted and started making out on our couch. It felt natural; the way his lips moved so in-sync with mine, how he was grabbing one side of my face while pulling me closer with his other hand, those little noises at the back of his throat, and overall, just the way we melted at each other's touch.
If you ask me, I'm not sure who started it, me or him, but I do know that it was him who ended it. In my dizzy state of mind I recognized a look in his eyes that I could only classify as confusion and denial. I grabbed his wrist as firmly as I could, but he flinched away from me and ran to his room. I stayed there, completely frozen, wondering what the fuck was going on.
