Finding Pluto - Lucaya + Riarkle

Prologue

Maya

I can't do this. But I have to.

I shouldn't be doing this. But I need to.

I don't want to do this. But maybe the only way things will turn out right is if I do.

As I steadily place my foot onto the next rung of the fire escape ladder, I look down at him and he nods surely, as if this was a decision I should have made a long time ago. He crosses his arms impatiently and motions for me to keep climbing. I try to gulp, but my mouth is so parched that all I seem to swallow is a portion of the guilt that runs through each and every one of my veins.

It's strange how confident he is in me doing this. I've never felt more unsure about something in my entire life

I climb a little higher, the sleek glass of the bay window now visible. The mere sight of the intricate purple and white pillows almost makes me retch. Maybe if I just fell off the ladder right now, he'd care enough about me to put this whole thing on pause and take me to the hospital. Maybe he'd think of it as a sign that I shouldn't be doing this at all. I'd endure any amount of pain to be able to climb down this ladder. But maybe he'd know I did it on purpose. And maybe he'd leave me right then and there. I can't risk that either.

All these thoughts running through my head causes me to freeze, and I hear his voice below me encouraging me to keep going.

"You know this is the right thing to do, Maya," he says, his voice echoing throughout the dark, empty streets. "When you're done, I'll be right here waiting for you."

I nod, but still my body doesn't find a way to move. "I'm nervous," I peep. "Riley's my best friend."

"Come on, Maya," he says, a tone of slight agitation detectable in his voice. "If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Surely I couldn't do something like this for my own sake, but if he thinks it's the right thing to do, maybe it is. He is wiser than me, after all. And I love him. I love him more than anything. He tells me the same thing every day, so it must be true.

I release the air trapped in my lungs and climb to the top of the ladder without stopping.

Before my heart can catch up to my brain, I knock 3 times on the bay window glass. Usually I'd come in without asking permission, but I figure with what I'm about to do next, being welcome isn't exactly the first thing I'd call myself.

I see Riley put down her book and skip over to the window, opening it for me. Her innocent smile makes my heart shatter into a million pieces.

"Hey, Peaches," she sings, motioning for me to come in. I shake my head immediately. Taking even one step into the room of my best friend would be crossing the line. Not that what I'm about to do isn't already overstepping boundaries I never thought I'd ever encounter, but telling her this news in the bay window wouldn't be possible on my part. News this terrible would break its magic. Its hope.

"I'm gonna stay right here, Riley," I say, emotionless.

"Maya," she says, her smile dropping into a frown. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

My poor Smiley Riley. I'm about to break her, and she still cares so much for me.

She tries to take my hand, but I swat her away. She looks at me defensively. "What did I do, Maya?"

"Nothing," I say coldly. "Look, I'm not gonna waste my time with some long speech. Just know that I have to do this, okay?"

"What are you talking about?" she says, raising her voice.