Lock the Doors - Mattdock

Chapter Twelve - Are You Okay?

"What store are we going to?" I asked when we got into the car.

That was a stupid question. Now he's going to think I'm an idiot.

"Staples," he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Okay," I said, dreading when we get there.

I nervously tapped my finger against my hand.

Apparently Johnny noticed, because he asked, "Are you really that nervous?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Why?"

Because I hate people, I hate social interactions, this is going to give me anxiety, I'm going to have a fucking panic attack in a fucking Staples out of all the places, you're going to think I'm a freak because you've probably never been exposed to someone who's mentally fucked up, Lloyd's gonna hate me, his friends won't want to be seen with me—

"Are you okay?" he suddenly asked, glancing at me worriedly.

"Yeah," I sighed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"You can talk to me, you know that, right?"

Oh, god, not the Therapist Game. I fucking hate that one.

"Sure."

"You can, Nick."

"Okay, Johnny, okay."

He sighed, dropping the matter. Good.

We arrived at Staples a couple minutes later. Johnny pulled into the parking lot and parked the car. I got out and walked inside with Johnny.

When we got inside, we immediately saw Lloyd and his friends. Johnny was walking towards them, so I trailed behind him, nervously messing with my hoodie sleeves.

Why do I have to be so goddamn socially awkward?

"How long have you guys been waiting?" Johnny asked.

"Not that long. Why?"

"No reason."

"Okay. Let's go get supplies," Lloyd said.

We walked to the aisle where they had the lined paper, so I grabbed two packets. I forgot to get a fucking basket to put the items in, are you fucking kidding me?

I glanced at the others. They all had a basket. When did they get those? Why didn't I get one? Oh god, I'm going to drop all the supplies, aren't I? Where even are the baskets? When did they all get that?

They think I'm stupid. They all think I'm stupid.

They started leaving this aisle to get different supplies. Oh well, too late to get a basket, not like I was going to anyways.

And I forgot my list. Perfect.

I caught up to them, and Johnny was the first one to notice.

"Nick, don't you have a list?" he asked.

The others didn't turn their heads or look at me, so that's good.

"No," I said quietly.

"Okay, well we need lined paper, pencils, erasers, pens, folders, dividers, a calculator, highlighters, a pencil case, and a two-inch binder, plus some extra stuff I have no idea why the hell we need."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

He started walking towards another aisle, so I followed him like a fucking lost puppy because the others had disappeared.

"Are you following me?" he laughed when he saw I was walking with him without him knowing.

"I-I don't know where the others are."

Pathetic. I'm pathetic.

"I think they went to go get binders, I'm not sure. We'll find them."

"Oh."

"Nick, you need more than just paper. Here," he said and handed me a packet of folders.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

About ten minutes later, we had gotten most of the supplies that Johnny had mentioned.

We turned a corner and I blindly bumped into someone, making me drop all the supplies onto the floor and causing a scene.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Please no. Please, please, please...

"Sorry," I mumbled, dropping to the floor and frantically picking up all the stuff I dropped as quickly as I could. I held the supplies to my chest and stood up, turning around and looking for Johnny.

I speed-walked over towards him, breathing uneven with my heart pounding. I just wanted to get as far away as I could from what just happened.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

So he did see me get humiliated. I nodded.

"Okay. I'm sorry I didn't help you back there."

"It's fine."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Let's go find Lloyd and his friends," I said, wanting to leave this stupid damn store as soon as possible.

"Okay."

We found them standing near the exit doors, bags in hand. They already bought their stuff, those motherfuckers.

Johnny paid for his stuff first. The cashier put his things in the bag. I put my stuff on the counter and waited for the total to ring up.

"Fifty-one dollars and sixty-seven cents," the cashier told me. I pulled out three twenties and laid them out on the counter. The cashier gave me my change and I got my bags. I put the change in my wallet and put the wallet in my back pocket.

Johnny and I walked over to Lloyd and his friends. They immediately looked up at us.

"Let's go get food, I'm starving," Johnny said, and the others agreed.

Oh, fuck.

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I have this fear of turning corners and bumping into someone and dropping all my things and causing a huge fucking scene.

I don't know I just have a ton of anxiety whenever I need to turn a corner because I don't know if I'm gonna bump into someone or what.