Lock the Doors - Mattdock

Chapter Ten - My Life, My Fate

I sat down and swung my legs off the edge of the cliff, staring down below.

Swallowed hard, I felt tears starting to form in my eyes, blurring my vision. Oh fuck, why am I crying?

Tears slid down my face and I saw them begin to drop down. Great. Now I'm being weak.

I slumped over so that my arms were resting on my thighs that were way too fucking big. Probably from the fact that I'm sitting down.

The tears kept falling. I felt pathetic, crying for no goddamn reason.

Suddenly someone's arms were being wrapped around my waist, dragging my body away from the cliff. I yelped, immediately stomping my feet down on the ground in an attempt on not getting kidnapped.

"Fuckin' let me go, you sick, sadistic, twisted motherfucker! Fuckin' let me the motherfuckin' hell—!"

"Jesus Christ, Nick, it's me, Johnny!" he said and took his arms off of me. He spun me around to face him, and there was Johnny, staring back at me and looking genuinely terrified.

What the fuck? You're supposed to be hanging out with Lloyd! Stop fucking finding me when I least want you to, goddammit!

"Why are you crying?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned. I bet he's not though, he probably feels obligated to. Or he's lying.

I wiped my eyes with my hoodie sleeve. "I don't know."

"Do you want a hug?"

"No." I'm not fucking helpless! Do I look like I'm helpless? Do people think I'm helpless? Because I'm not.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Okay. Why were you about to jump?"

I laughed. "If I wanted to jump, I would've already been dead."

He looked worried. "Nick, that's not good."

"When did I ever say that it was?" I deadpanned.

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. Instead he said, "C'mon. I'm bringing you to my house, and you can say what you were doing."

"I don't—"

"It's not an option," he said and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards wherever the fuck he was taking me.

We arrived at what I'm assuming was his house, about ten minutes later. Johnny opened the door and I walked inside, taking off my shoes, although he didn't.

"How the hell did you know I was at the cliff? And how did you even find out?" I asked.

"Honestly, I didn't. I just recognized you sitting there, looking like you were gonna jump."

"Oh."

"Were you?"

"No. I told you, if I actually wanted to, I'd be dead already." What part of this is he not getting though his thick-ass skull? Damn.

"Why were you there, then?"

"Because I needed to clear my head."

"Oh. Are you hungry? It's like, two something and I'm starving."

"Uh, no, not really," I lied. Unfortunately for me, my stomach growled. Loudly. And in that moment, I prayed to an imaginary man in the sky that—by some miracle that won't happen—Johnny wouldn't hear. But no such luck.

"Hah, yeah, sure. Your stomach disagrees with you. What do you want for lunch?"

"Uh, fruit?"

He frowned. "Fruit is not a fucking lunch."

"What vegan food items do you have?"

"You're a vegan?"

I nodded slowly.

"Huh. I do not know that much about you," he said.

"Didn't expect you to," I muttered.

"Hey, don't be mean," he said and slung his arm around my shoulders.

I rolled my eyes, not even bothering to reply to him.

"Are you always like this?" he asked, turning his head.

"Like what?" I asked.

"I dunno. You're always so sad and serious. Try to be happy for once. Smile."

"I don't like being told to do things."

"Well, I got news for you. You can't get by life living by your own rules. Well, I mean, you can, but I don't recommend it."

"My life, my fate."

He sighed. "Okay. Do what ever the hell you want, I'm not gonna stop you. Unless it's gonna kill you or something, then I'm gonna stop you."

"Okay," I said unsurely, not really knowing what to say, other than that.

"Okay. What do you want for lunch?" he asked again, and this time he took his arm off of me.

"I'm not hu—" I tried to tell him, but he cut me off.

"When's the last time you ate?"

Two hours ago. Hardly nothing at all.

I frowned. "Why?"

"Because you need food."

I know that, dumbass! "Oh," I said in monotone.

"Well?"

"I ate breakfast at ten, I think? I'm not sure. I ate lunch two hours ago."

He seemed satisfied with that answer. "Okay. Do you want like, a snack or something?"

Is there a way to rewind time to two minutes ago? Because I hate where this conversation is going and it's obvious that Johnny isn't going to drop it.

"I don't know, I'll probably find something."

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Did you guys know that unfrosted Pop-Tarts are vegan? I didn't know that up until now.