The Man in Strings

X. Sneak

This is kind of tiring... but exciting, as well.

Maine, although confused, took a bath without asking a question. I didn't tell her anything and just handed her shoes. She wore a floral dress, and I got too delighted by seeing how it fitted her well. I complimented myself, too. She's the best choice I've ever made.

I helped her into my room. Doon na sya nagsuklay at nag-ayos. Maine doesn't really require fancy make-up so I didn't have any problems assisting her. Sobrang fascinated lang nya siguro sa itsura ng kwarto ko because she'd never been here.

Sa kotse na sya nagsalita. "Para saan 'to?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I said nonchalantly. "I'm taking you on a date."

"Naninigurado lang," she ran her eyes all over my face. "Dati kasi sobra-sobra ka kung makaulit-ulit na friendly date lang kapag lumalabas tayo."

"Dati 'yun," I grinned. "Tanga pa 'ko nu'n."

"Grabe ka naman sa sarili mo," she looked concerned. "You're just confused back then."

"Whatever you call it," I shrugged and started the engine. "I'm still calling myself stupid for not choosing the person my heart really wanted to be with."

I glanced at her (I was really focused on the road, people. Don't worry.) and saw her frowning. "Why? Did I say something wrong?"

"Wala naman," she sighed. "This is... just too good to be true."

"What is too good to be true?"

"You," she answered in a second, and my damned heart easily reacted violently with her simple words. Really, Maine, what are you? "You're too good to be true."

Sobrang focused ko sa daan pero sa pinagsasasabi nitong babaeng 'to, pakiramdam ko maaga akong mababaliw than I expected. "Ako? Bakit naman ako?"

"The signs are all there," she pointed at me. "But it's really hard to believe that someone... someone wants you."

I let her talk. Isa 'to sa mga paraan ko so I could reach up to her more. I wanted to hold her forever and in order to stay in that position, I must understand her truly. (Although you can never really decipher what goes on inside the mind of the brilliant Maine Mendoza.) "Wala lang..." she smiled. "I've been... unwanted for so long. Hindi naman ako malungkot. Hindi ko rin naman iniisip na forever alone ako, at wala lang sa akin 'yun kahit inaasar ako ng mga kakilala ko at ng mga kapatid ko na tatanda akong dalaga kasi seryoso, wala lang talaga sa akin 'yun. And I know myself when I love people, Rj. I love people and I love people. 'Yun talaga. Kilala ko sarili ko, sobra, kapag nagmahal ako. Kaya 'yung three years na... na..." She flushed. "N-na gusto kita..." Then regained her composure. "Okay lang sa akin 'yun kasi ako 'yung nagbibigay. Sanay talaga ako."

She smiled sheepishly. "Pero iba kasi kapag ikaw na 'yung tatanggap. Parang ang hirap. Parang ang hirap maniwala na may taong may gusto pala sa akin kasi nga, alam ko 'yung mga pagkukulang ko. And although I love myself, I know how imperfect I am - and it's really, really hard to believe that someone else can love all the Maine Mendoza versions I could give."

Dumating na kami sa pupuntahan namin sa haba ng sinabi nya. Halos matawa ako sa litanya nya. Why? Because although she's gotten matured, she's still... the Maine I first met. The Maine who can't step up because she know she'll screw things up. The Maine who cried over horror films at eighteen, and the Maine who went with everyone (even strangers) at the moment they mentioned free food.

"Maine," I opened the car door for her. "I'd tell you honestly. You're not exactly... the most stable person I know. One minute you're like a kid, then the next you're like... my resurrected grandmother."