The Man in Strings

IX. Chaos

"But you love me, right?"

"Rj..."

"You do, right?"

"Rj naman... kanina pa tayo paulit-ulit dito..."

"Say it, Maine."

"Rj..."

"Please?"

Sobrang abusado ko na talaga, but ever since Maine told me that she loves me, I can't get enough of hearing it. Parang kahit 'yun na lang ang marinig ko buong araw, ayos na. I thought my paycheck would be forever the sweetest thing to me, pero hindi pala talaga matutumbasan ng kahit anong bagay. Tsk. Ang korni. My young self would surely laugh at me and tell me how pathetic I am.

Then I'd proceed to tell him that he was wrong and stupid all these years, and Maine's love was all worth it.

Dear young self, 'wag laging gwapo lang. Learn how to step out from your boundaries and never let that minion you knew suffer.

Tingnan mo ako ngayon. Gwapo na, inlove pa. So this is what fucking heaven feels like.

Palagi ko syang kinukulit tuwing umaga. Papaano, tuwing umagahan lang kami nagkikita. Tuwing gabi, busy sya magreply sa mga emails sa kanya. Maine mainly works at home, and I don't want to disturb her whenever she's working. Minsan nga, iniisip ko, sobrang annoying ko na kapag kumakatok ako tuwing hatinggabi para dalhan sya ng gatas at kung anong makakain. Rule number one in courting Maine Mendoza: Never forget food.

But I was actually surprised how normal that rule is. Para kasing dati ko na ring ginagawa kaya it doesn't really feel like I'm courting her.

"Maine?" I knocked on her door once. Walang sumagot, kaya naman pumasok na ako. I saw her sleeping on her desk, her laptop still turned on. Naupo na lang ako sa tabi nya at tiningnan sya, careful not to wake her up. Masyado nang umiitim 'yung balat nya sa ilalim ng mga mata nya, and I could see how hard she works for her dreams.

Something really feels... beautiful just by staring at the one you love lalo na't hindi sila aware. I noticed that I have always done that for the past few days whenever we meet at breakfast. 'Yung magsasalita sya, magkukuwento in a very energetic way, being the usual Maine, and I'd just space out because she's too... radiant. Unfair kung paulit-ulit kong gagamitin 'yung salitang maganda para sa kanya.

She's beyond that.

Because Maine wasn't just a pretty face. Alam ko naman na para syang may foreign genes na parang puberty just hit her hard and bam, from this plain minion hidden from everyone's sight, she's suddenly this it girl every man wanted to date. Pero ang ganda-ganda nya talaga, sobra.

Hindi lang sa pisikal na aspeto. She's just... radiant. Like there's this attractive light coming from her pure heart. Kapag naalala ko how she'd talk about lost kids in the street and how she gets sad na walang nag-aalaga sa kanila. She'd frown at the thought of their parents abandoning them, but then she'd just look cute to me. Para nga syang hindi nagagalit, eh. That scene when you just play with young kids sa family reunion? And that you'd make them cry just for fun because they look cute so you'd take away their favorite candies? That's how she looks like.

And that makes me love her even more.

I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear so I could see her face better, but she woke up at that.

"R-rj?" She asked in her dazed state, and sat straight. "Kanina ka pa dyan?"

I shook my head. "Hindi naman. Matulog ka pa. Nagdala lang ako ng pagkain, akala ko kasi gising ka pa."

"Ang dami kong taong kinakausap," she groaned. "Nakaka-stress na rin minsan, kahit online lang."

I spread my arms wide. "Here."