He's a want not a need (Ziall one shot)

Niall remembers everything about the first time he saw Zayn. He remembers exactly how the light from the glaring sun bounced off the raven haired boy making him look more enchanting than anyone Niall had ever seen. Niall remembers the light blush that crept up to his cheek, without his consent, when Zayn's eyes scraped around the room and caught Niall's gaze and refused to let go with a smirk tugging on his upper lip knocking the blonde boy off for a second, but not long enough to break the steely gaze. Striking blue eyes met chocolate hazel eyes and a soft smile threatened to crack on his lips. The hazel of Zayn's eyes melted the heart of the Irish blonde, who at this point was desperately trying to break the gaze but he was sucked in; he found Zayn too captivating to ever look away from. Niall's bright blue eyes pierced through Zayn's soul reflecting his hidden pit of of emotions filled with desire, lust and adoration.

Niall remembers their first date. Zayn and Niall had exchanged numbers once the staring contest like gaze was over and Zayn didn't wait long to text Niall. He wasn't the type to worry about whether he seemed too needy or clingy; he didn't care. If he wanted to see someone, he was going to see someone. It was nothing special, their first date, just a spot of lunch one day after work, but Niall remembers it all so well, maybe too well. But that was because it was special to him it was the starting point of their relationship, the blossoming of it all. He remembers their first kiss. Niall was extremely hesitant but when he finally decided to ignore the nervousness in his stomach he leaned in to allow his lips to meet the delicate pink of Zayn's. As soon as the boys' lips connected Niall felt the nervousness drift away, like a helium balloon let go by a child as they watch it float up in to the sky. He even felt a hint of satisfaction as the elder boy instantly pulled Niall in towards his chest, wrapping his arms around the boys tiny waist as he deepened the kiss earning a moan from the blonde boy. The two boys pulled away and Zayn had his signature smirk playing on his lips. He even remembers the first movie they watched together as they cuddled up on the sofa with their legs tangled together while Zayn ran his fingers through Niall's hair, causing it to become dishevelled, feeling content when the boy melted at his touch.

Something must have gone a little wrong along the way because at this very moment it felt like Niall's world was crashing down and being destroyed, giving him no room to breathe, like the walls were closing in on him making the room smaller every second. And that was all down to Zayn. Or maybe it was Niall's fault. He's always had a thing for the mysterious type. Niall's just a little blonde pure beauty corrupted by the chocolate inky skin of Zayn.

Niall doesn't quite remember when it all changed. He doesn't remember when Zayn started giving off a hostile vibe and stopped letting him in to his mind. Niall knew Zayn's mind could be a dark place at times but Niall found the elder boy terrifyingly intriguing. He wanted to know everything about him, right down to the very last miniature detail. He didn't know the catalyst to Zayn sneaking off behind his back and tiptoeing back in to their apartment, at God knows what hour, after a night of sleeping with strangers. It made Niall's skin crawl as Zayn climbed in to bed with him after a night of being someone else's.

There was nothing wrong with Niall. Nothing at all. He was perfect in every sense of the word; from the way his hair was always slightly tousled to the way he scrunched his nose up when it tickled to the way his cheeks were constantly flushed a light shade of pink to the trail of freckles scattered across his cheek and his neck embellishing his skin in the same way a constellation of stars embellish the sky. Zayn couldn't figure out the problem and maybe there wasn't one, but he couldn't love Niall the way Niall did him though he desperately wanted to. He knew Niall deserved better, so much better than anything Zayn could ever offer him, but Zayn couldn't let Niall go. He didn't want to.

The mere thought of losing Zayn petrified Niall, it made him tense up and his body fell weak. It's beautiful when you fall in love with your nepenthe; the one whom makes you forget all your worries and sufferings, yet its more treacherous than anyone could ever imagine because maybe you're not their nepenthe. Niall knew he couldn't hide behind lies for the rest of his life, he'd known that since the alleged cheating began but he was too afraid of the foul consequences that would follow which led to Niall putting the confrontation off time and time again.

That was until Zayn stumbled in to their apartment at three in the morning with a lipstick stained collar and alcohol on his breath. And maybe Niall had a little too much to drink that night too. Niall started calmly but a simple "where have you been?" quickly escalated in to a full blown argument with voices being raised, plates being smashed and bags being packed. Niall remembers that night more vividly than any other moment he had ever shared with Zayn.

Niall couldn't live like that. He fell in love with Zayn more and more each day meanwhile Zayn was planning his night out and picking the next stranger he would sleep with. Niall wanted to hate Zayn for what he was doing, he wanted to hate Zayn for everything he was putting him through, he wanted to hate every inch of Zayn with every muscle in his body but to no avail. No matter what Zayn did Niall could never bring himself to hate the hazel eyed beauty he fell in love with.

And in the end Zayn doesn't understand the ache in his heart that feels like a piece of glass has been thrown on the floor and cracked in to a million pieces. But as they say, sometimes it's better to leave things broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together,   He doesn't care about Niall. He never did. He just needed someone, no, he wanted someone. He was just lonely. Nothing more, nothing less. 

But maybe somewhere along their messy journey together the feelings he pretended to have for Niall became real and maybe that explains the pang of guilt he felt in his chest every time he slept with another girl each night.

But it was too late now. It was all over and Niall was gone.