Recovery

Patience

She's fallen back into her old routine.

I can tell she's hurting though.

She's doing everything she used to do.

But it doesn't make her as happy as it used to.

We're at the club and she's up on stage, doing the same thing she did the night Batsy took her.

She looks bad.

In two ways.

She looks like the girl who doesn't fuck around.

She also looks sick.

It's sad.

She seems to be deteriorating.

Unhappy.

Tired.

I think we should go home.

It was too soon for her to jump into things.

I whistle for her to come over and she does within the minute.

"You wanna go home, baby?" I whisper in her ear.

She nods and I can see she looks like she's about to cry.

I nod towards Jonny and he nods back at me.

We're leaving.

A girl stops me, running her hands over my chest.

"You wanna play with me, Mister J?"

I shake my head.

"Go away."

I see the girl pout, "You only play with her. Never us anymore."

Harley's about to break down.

"If you don't leave us alone, I will make sure you don't have a job to come back to."

She spits at Harley's feet.

I'm about to punch her.

Harley does it for me.

"He said leave us alone bitch. You'd better listen. Just letting you know, you are fired. Don't mind changing. I want you out. Now."

Harley's walking away.

She's crying.

I walk out with her and push her hair back.

It's raining.

She's wrapping her arms around my waist, shuddering from the cold?

Or from her sobs?

I walk her to the car and open her door for her.

We're soaked.

How long were we standing in the rain?

I get in and drive to the warehouse.

I carry her inside.

I help her undress and get her a towel.

She wraps it around herself and sits on my bed.

"I'm sorry for ruining your night, Puddin'."

I shake my head and turn to her.

"You're more important that tonight."

She nods but I can tell she doesn't believe me.

I go into the bathroom and start to run the bath.

I look in the mirror.

I have circles under my eyes.

Long nights of staying up comforting Harley.

She doesn't want to be insane.

She can't help it.

It's tearing her apart.

It's because of me.

She walks into the bathroom, naked.

She kisses me and gets in the bath.

I strip and get in with her.

I tell her a pick up line.

"You wanna know who's beautiful?"

She nods her head, smiling slightly.

"You need me to say the first word again?"

Harley laughs.

She looks so beautiful.

I wish I had a camera.

She doesn't laugh anymore.

She leans against my chest.

Her breathing slows.

She turns around and looks at me.

"Puddin'?"

"Yes?"

"Do you love me?"

I let the question hang in the air.

"Can I go do something?"

She tears up.

She nods.

I wrap a towel around my waist and run outside to the back of the warehouse.

There's a wild rose bush.

I pick eleven roses.

I go back inside and grab a fake rose.

I go back inside the bathroom where Harley is crying.

Covering her face with her hands.

I walk over to her and hand her the roses.

"Harley Quinn."

"I will love you until all of these roses die."

She sets the roses outside of the bathtub.

She stands up.

She wraps her arms around my neck.

"I know one of them are fake." She whispers.

"I will always have to love you then won't I?" I ask, a trace of a laugh in my voice.

She nods.

"I guess you will."

We dry off and get under the blankets on my bed.

I hold her.

She falls asleep.

I fall asleep.

I hear crying.

I don't move.

Harley isn't in my arms.

I stare at the ceiling.

She's crying to herself on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor.

"What am I doing?"

She wipes her eyes.

I close mine.

She kisses my cheek.

"I love you."

She wraps my arm around her waist.

"I'm scared, Puddin'. I feel like I'm losing it."

"Please don't leave me."

I try not to move.

"I hope you love me."

I want to wrap myself around her, tell her I do.

I always will.

"I need you, whether you know it or not."

I do, Harls. I know more than you do.

"I don't know why I'm crazy."

She falls back asleep.

I don't.

It's because of me.