Desolate Me

Don't You Remember?

At first I just stood in the hall, a good dozen feet away from everyone else as they were marched in and out of the office, each giving their account of the night. My ghost wanted to sit with me but I didn’t respond to his comments or his commentary.

I just sat there twisting my mother’s jade ring I’d slipped on unconsciously this morning. It should’ve been calming, having something of my mother’s there with me but I just felt…disconnected from everything.

Eventually someone sat down next to me, not too close but not far away to signal conversation was out of the mix.

We both sat there for a few moments, getting comfortable with being near the other. His closeness still set my nerves on edge, making something deep inside rumble awake and beg for me to talk to him.

“What are you going to dress up as for Halloween?”

That question came so far out of the blue it forced me to look at him. At some point, I didn’t know when, he’d straightened up his appearance, his golden hair slicked back with one lock hanging across his forehead.

“Excuse me?”

He didn’t look at me, just continued to stare straight ahead.

“Halloween. It’s this weekend. You know, All Hallows Eve, All Souls Day, Samhain? People tend to dress up and go door to door for candy here in America.” He looked at me finally, his eyes completely calm with his face betraying easiness. “Trick or Treat?”

I balked at him, uncertain of how to answer that.

“I’m—not sure. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“You should. The school throws this huge—carnival type thing. Rides, candy, haunted woods…the works. It’s supposed to keep us out of trouble for the night.”

“I…” I frowned. “Why are you asking?”

“I was wondering,” he looked back at his hands where they were bunched in his lap, “if you wanted to go—with me.”

“Like a—date?” I said hesitantly.

“Yes.” Crisp, clear answer.

“I—I don’t know. I’m sort of…grounded.”

He looked at me again, the browns and reds slowly swirling in anticipation.

“What if I told you I already asked your dad?”

“What did he say?”

“That you could go. I just had to have you home by ten.”

“Oh.” I looked over where my father, who had finally arrived, was speaking quietly with Carter Marks who had shown up with him. “Well…”

“I told you I was going to earn your trust back. But in order for me to do that, you’re going to have to let me.”

“What if I’m not sure I want you to earn it back?”

“I know it’s hard.” He held my gaze. “I know you’re not sure if this is all worth salvaging but I do. I’m going to try, whether you want me too or not, whether you try to push me away and lock me out. You’ll find I’m not as easy to get rid of as you think.”

I looked back at my ring, something my mother said to me once ringing in my head.

Trust, Cassie, is the hardest thing to give next to your heart. Once broken, both are hard to repair but it’s never impossible.

“That night is the only time of the year where the veil between our world and Ghost Plain is at its thinnest.”

“I know,” he said reassuringly. “Alma mentioned it. She even said you probably shouldn’t go anywhere there’s a high possible ghost population.”