Always Running Out of Time

Chapter One

(A/N: This dedication is because I love ChaiEskimo. She is an amazing writter and friend. She also made the banner located that way ->)

Dear Dad,

Dad… Can I even call you that? That one word, it’s so foreign to me now… You were never here. You never called. I never got a card from you. I’m pretty sure you wont even write back.

Mom won’t tell me anything about you. She just starts crying…. I hate to see her cry, it rips my heart into pieces. She tries so hard you know. But I guess she just didn’t try hard enough for you.

Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I just wasn’t good enough? Grandma said you never did want a daughter… I’m sorry I’m not Eliot, but I think that when it comes down to it that I’m the better child. I know that sounds wrong… But him and mom just arnt as close as I am to her… There’s nothing wrong with that though. At least his not you, right?

Anyways… We had to move again. It’s really cold here and I hate it. I hate my school the most though. Every one makes fun of me and Eliot. Him, I understand. But why me? I haven’t done anything… I keep to myself… I don’t talk to anyone… I haven’t done anything wrong… So why don’t they like me?

Sometimes, I wish you were here… To keep me safe ya know? There are those time when I child really needs her father. I had always hopped that you would be there to give me away… But…. I… I guess that… Will never happen… Guess all I can do now is dream about it.

Dreaming I do a lot of that lately. I try to dream of you. But it’s hard to dream about someone when you have no idea what they look like. I know your voice though. I can hear it when mom watches the old wedding videos… She’s getting rid of them though. She said that there’s no point in keeping a ghost in the house. I disagree…

Anyways dad. The point of this is just to talk to you. I know that you wont read this… But on the off chance that you do… I just… I want you to know that… I think there’s something wrong with me. I don’t know what it is. But it’s there… I can’t eat anything without getting really sick, at least, I think I get sick. I always have to throw up after eating… Also, I always feel really weak. It’s like someone stole all my strength…

None of this started happening until after we had moved. I don’t understand it. Maybe it’s just my imagination…

You’re the only person I’ve told. I won’t tell mom or Eliot, they will just freak out. Their so protective of me… Like I’m some fragile little flower they have to protect….

Oh! Mom’s making us go to church now to! How funny is that? I thought she was atheist or something. But… If there is something seriously wrong with me. Then I want to ask God why. Why would he make it happen to me? I’m I just that horrible of a person…

Dad… I’m scared you know… I don’t want to be sick… I don’t want to die… I can’t leave mom like you did… I could never do that to her… Daddy… I really don’t want to die… I’m scared… What if there is nothing after death… Nothing but darkness… Daddy… I need you….

Sincerely, Ally bear(mom said you use to call me that after I was born)

I love you daddy, please write back. Or, call?

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I cried after I read this... I didnt get it untill... After everything... This letter had tear stains all over it too... It never got sent to out dad.... I'm going to send it to him now though, he needs to read it... Tell me, what do you think is wrong with my sister? My sweet sister.... God... I'm stil crying... I'm gonna be crying a lot while writting this...

Please.......... Leave Ally love? She deserves it... Every comment... I'll read it to her... Please write her a message on here as a comment, I will read it to her. I promise