The Old and the New (Liam Payne)

Epilogue

My Lovely Eli,

I can't remember many things now a days. Like what my favorite candy was when I was little. Or what I loved to play on the piano for my Mum. But one thing I will never forget, Dear, is anything that has to do with you. I will always remember your favorite color is ocean blue. I will always remember the fire that you have within you, that fire that you seemed to always show around me. I will always remember the day I realized I loved you. It was a gloomy day. Thunder rumbled. Rain pelted against the roof of my house. We were both still in our pajamas. We sat by the fire, our hands wrapped around cups of hot chocolate. If I recall right we were around the age of 13 or 14. You were sitting beside me, close beside me, and going on and on about how guys always leave you and you don't know why. And I remember thinking to myself, hey, i'm a guy and i've never once thought about leaving you. Do I not count? I looked over at you and you were looking at me, and I just remember thinking your eyes were oh-so-pretty, the light from the fire igniting them in a way I hadn't really seen before. They were a pop of all colors of blue. Dark, light, baby, ocean, all mixed together in a beautiful mixture of you. And it was perfect. And you were perfect, and we were perfect. And in that moment, I realized I loved you. I loved you and all your silly habits and countless rants and all the blues that made up you. I loved the way you bit your nails when you were excited, and the way you were when you were mad. You didn't think about anything you said, or anything you did. You just went psychotic, flinging words like knives at whoever caused you pain and it hurt when I saw you mad because most of the time when you were mad it was because you were hurt by a prick that didn't deserve you and your entirety. You didn't deserve half of that shit they did to you El. It makes me so angry with myself because I didn't sweep you off your feet and get you away from all that sooner. I remember that day too. The day I finally made you mine. The day I came to your house the first time in a month. I was so relieved when I saw you. It was like drinking after I had been thirsty for years on end. But you've always had that affect on me, haven't you? You have always taken my breath away, with or without makeup, dressed up or dressed down. Do you remember our wedding? I'm sure you do. You looked astonishing. I love you. God, I miss you. I miss you with everything i've got. You made me so happy. You still make me happy. I'm coming to see you soon. I can feel it in my bones. You know some people are afraid of death, but I'm not. I don't think people should be. I think it's a part of life and we might as well embrace it. I didn't quite think that when you left me. I went crazy for awhile. Kinda like you do when you get mad. I didn't want to accept the fact that you were gone. I needed you. But the thing I didn't realize is that you are always with me. You never really left. I see you in the blue of the sky. I see you in the tigers at the zoo we visit from time to time, because they are angry and beautiful like you. But where I see you most is in the kids. I see you in Rosie's hands, her nails always being perfectly bit. I see you in Jonah's temper, the way he acts when he get's angry is so accurate to you. Even though you would never admit it, no matter how many times I told you. They miss you too. I think everyone does. I talked to the lads, they're doing well. Niall's even staying with me at the home I'm in. Man, I missed his happiness. It always lights up the room, like you used to say. I see it more now than I did then. Harry says he's doing well, says he misses you going off on him about his constant fighting with Amber. He told me to tell you they're getting better, even though the fighting wasn't ever really serious. And that he loves you.  Louis says he's doing great, told me he misses you nagging him about everything he did, though he hates to admit it. Zayn said him and Perrie are still going strong, and they miss your constant support. Perrie also got on the phone and told me to tell you she loves you more than life and Zayn added in a that's from him too. Niall was in the room when I was writing this letter, told me to put some of the song lyrics we have been messing around with in here and to tell you that he misses you like hell and wants a Eli Hug, says that you were always the best hugger and I can't disagree with that. So basically we all miss you and love you and can't wait to see you. I love you baby. 

                                                                                            Love, Your L

 Oh wait, I forgot about the song lyrics. So me and Niall thought we should write a song, for old times sake ya know? And I mentioned you, and he said we should write one for you and I obviously agreed. All we've got so far is this. We're thinking it's gonna be the chorus. 

  "You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, and you will be the one that holds my heart forever more. You make me smile, you let me be the one i am supposed to be, and you, oh you, are the one I adore." 

It's called 'Adore', I can't wait to finish it and sing it to you. I love you. 

                                                                                               Love, Your Li 

 I laid the letter down on her grave, the most colorful of them here, covered in fresh flowers that were given just a week ago when the lads came for a visit. They really did love her. Everyone she met did. What am I saying? We all still do. Still love her, I mean. I visit as often as I can, making it my priority to give her a letter once every week. I told Tommy I had to give her one last letter before I pass. I know I'm going to soon. As I told her in the letter, I can feel it in my bones. It'll be my time soon. I walk back over to the car, slowly yet surely, and sit in the back seat. On the way back I think of the people at the nursing home. Maisie, who always loved Elizabeth, although she'd only known her for a couple months. Ken, who was always up for the many stories I have about her and I. Everyone loved our stories. I'm glad I get to share them. I'll never not like to brag on her. Rosie and Jonah love them too, although for most of them she was there to help me remember certain parts. They all asked very good questions. "Where did you first meet?" "What were the last words she told you?" "What were her wedding vows?" "What did she always say to you that you never got tired of?" The most important question they ever asked me, however, was "How did she love you?" And my answer, always the same, was one that I realized a long while ago. "She loved me just the way I am. For the old, and for the new."  

(Author's note. Holy shit I'm crying. This story means a lot to me, the things I write say so much about what I want in life. I want a love like Liam and Elizabeth. I want someone to be so in love with me that they don't know how to put it in words. Sometimes I feel like that might not happen, but writing helps me believe it will. I hope you all enjoy this ending, because shit, it took a lot for me to write it. I love you guys so much, thank you for reading this. Please vote. Please. I just want one click. I need it for clearance. To know that this story was good and wasn't a total waste. I hope you're having an amazing break. Oh, and please check out my new story, I'll most likely be posting it either tonight or tomorrow, it's a Niall one, probably my last fanfic :(, hoping for it to be a hit. Gonna be called Finally Broken, so make sure you look for it. it's gonna be a little different than my other stories, not cliche. well of course until the end. i always make the end cliche now don't i? I can't leave you guys unhappy. Much love, Alexis. xx)