The Old and the New (Liam Payne)

Chapter 7

Liams P.O.V

Her breathing was heavy as I looked down at her laying on my chest. Her fingers were softly moving back and forth across it, and I tensed slightly due to my bruises from what had happened this morning. I assume she felt it because her crooked little smile she always has when shes sleeping turns into a frown and her fingers pause. Her eyes flutter open and she looks up at me. "Hey," she says, the half smile appearing back onto her face. "Hey," I say, kissing her forehead lightly.

After I read her the letter, she started balling her eyes out. When I told her that I had a whole drawer full, it turns out I didn't know what balling was. She was so upset and she kept apologizing saying that I should've told her how I felt and that I didn't deserve to feel that way; not wanted. I kept telling her it wasn't a big deal and that it wasn't her fault, it was mine. She wouldn't have that and eventually she just fell asleep on my chest because she had cried herself out. I stayed awake because I couldn't get the words she had said out of my head. They just replayed over and over again.

"CAN'T YOU TELL I FUCKING LOVE YOU?"

Those words, those words that I have been wanting to say to her for three years now, coming out of not mine but her mouth. How long had she felt this way? Was it just because I had changed my appearance? If she doesn't like me for the real me I don't know what I'll do. That would kill me. I want her to love me, I always have. No doubt about it. And I'm thankful that she does. But is it just temporary? Is it just for my new and improved looks? No, she's not that type of girl. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do about this, especially because I am dating Trinity. I like Trinity, but to be honest I would drop her in a second if it meant that I got to call Elizabeth mine. That's a no brainer. But I don't like to hurt peoples feelings. Obviously we need to talk further about this but I don't want to talk about it because that gives her the opportunity to change her mind. The thought made my stomach turn.

I looked back down at her and she crinkled her forehead. "What are you  thinking about?" She said softly, her hand reaching up to caress my cheek. "Nothing important." I whispered back, doing the same gesture to her. She raised her eyebrows but let it go with a sigh. "So..?" She said after about 5 minutes. "What are we gonna do?" Ugh. I really don't want to talk about this now. But it has to happen at some point. "Well..I don't know exactly." I responded, getting more situated on the bed. "What do you know?" She asked and I took a minute to think up a good response. What do I know? "I know that I love you, and that I always will no matter what. I know that you have exactly 34 freckles splattered across your cheeks, and that your eyes are the most beautiful color of blue I have ever seen. I know that you hate to be pushed into doing something, and you hate crying, which hurts me knowing that I managed to do both to you. I know that you love me too. Which is such a relief. But I also know how threatening this love is to our friendship. What I don't know is if your love will last for me, or if it is just the thrill of the moment, or envy of my time spent with Trinity," I finished,  looking down at her bed spread, my fingers tracing the floral pattern. She sighed yet again, and my mind wandered to what she would say next. What would she say next? I started thinking about how terrible it would feel to have her and then lose her again in only one day. I started to think about her denying me for the second time.. She wouldn't do that, would she? 

Elizabeth's P.O.V

My heart was still fluttering from Liam's sweet words but the last ones came to mind and I sighed, my fingers running through my tangled hair. Does Liam really not believe I truly love him? "Liam," I said sweetly, trying to get his attention off of my bed spread. "Liam, look at me." His eyes shot in my direction, and to my surprise were glossy. I scooted closer to him but he scooted away and my stomach turned. "Did I do something?" I said, my voice failing as I felt tears burning my eyes. "No.. no," He said scooting back over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I don't know what came over me. Sorry," He stuttered, and I tried to think back to what I was gonna say. My hands traveled to his chest and he winced. I went cold. "Did I hurt you when I..?" I asked, terrified of the answer. I know I slapped him pretty hard on the cheek, but that mark had long sense faded now. But I didn't know I did any damage when I hit his chest.. "No, I'm fine." He lied. I tried to lift his shirt up, but he grabbed my hand. "Really, El. I'm fine. Now what were you gonna say?" Ugh. I guess I'll look later. "I was going to say that you have been the only thing on my mind for the past two weeks. I can't believe you don't think I really love you." That wasn't exactly what I was gonna say, I had this well thought out speech until I got the wave of guilt from hurting him. He's had to deal with enough bullying. I was the one to protect him at first, and now I'm the threat. I shudder. "Oh." He replied simply, and I don't know what to say now. I took the opportunity to lift his shirt up, and dear lord I shouldn't have. 

Liam's P.O.V

"I was going to say that you have been the only thing on my mind for the past two weeks. I can't believe you don't think I really love you." That means nothing to me, El. You have been the only thing on my mind for the past 3 years. Real love is what I'm feeling, not what your feeling. But I didn't say that. "Oh." I replied, and I know she will want to hear more, but really that's all I can think to say. Before I could do anything about it her hand reached for my shirt and she pulled up, revealing my bruises. Jeez, I didn't know they looked that bad. "Oh my god." she gasped, and for the second time, I had no words. "I..I'm no good for you Liam. I'm so sorry." What? "What?" I looked at her and she had the strangest look in her eyes, a feeling that I could not detect.

"I can't believe I did this to you..I hurt you. I physically hurt you, and I probably mentally hurt you, and I just.. I think it's best if.." 

"You think it's best if I just leave. That's what you were gonna say all along, wasn't it? I think it's best for the both of us if we just stay friends. Just like last time. Why do you keep leading me on Elizabeth? What did I ever do to you? All you can think about is yourself sometimes," Suprisingly, I didn't yell or scream, I just simply stated that fact. I got up and put on my shoes, walking straight out the door before she said another word. 

I can't get her out of my head. She hasn't attempted to contact me since I left, but that was only 10  hours ago. It is now midnight, and I'm tired, but it's that kind of tired where your so exhausted you can't even sleep, so you just lay there and stare at the ceiling. I talked to Trinity some, trying to get my mind off of Elizabeth, but that didn't work. Every time I would say something I would just think of her response, not what Trinity said. Why did I leave her house again? Oh yeah, because she wanted me to. I have so many emotions bottled up inside me right now and I really need to get it out. I sat up and looked around my room. When my eyes landed on my desk, I got up and walked over to it, my hands shaking as I gripped the drawer that was attached to it, full of the letters to her.. hundreds of them, at least. I slowly opened it and realized I forgot the first one at her house. Shit. She may want it anyway, I should let her have it. No, she doesn't deserve them. She doesn't treat you right. My self conscience argued, but he doesn't feel the feelings I have towards her like I do. And I did write it for her anyway. I sat down in the chair and got out a new piece of notebook paper and started spilling my feelings all over what I always envisioned as a blank canvas. 

(A/N : I'm so so so so SO sorry I didn't update Saturday, I totally forgot. I am also sorry that this chapter sucks and that it's too short, but I really tried my best. It's 8:16pm and I have a crap load of homework to do. Highschool is really stressing me out, and I have two projects due next week, and we also get our report cards very soon, and I just want to have good grades and ugh. I really want to write and read because that is my passion but I barely have time and this Saturday I may not be able to update due to the two projects. I will try REALLY hard to update some other time this week, just in case I don't update Saturday. I'm sorry if I don't. I don't even know how many people read this. If you like this story and you want to find out what happens and your interested in it, please comment and vote. If you guys don't do that I feel like I'm writing to myself. I will keep you guys updated in my status's. Please comment if you want to keep reading, so I can know I'm writing for a purpose. COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT. Just a smiley face will be fine. Love you all, :* xx - Alexis)