I Wish You Knew [Haylor]

Chapter 1

London, UK

"Thank you so much, Elle. Let him know that I'm here, waiting for him to come."

Elle nods and left the room. The room was quite and empty.

"Miss Swift?"

A boy knocked on her room and peeked trough the door. I smiled and let him in.

"Hello, Kaden. Don't pretend like I'm not your friend, silly."

I playfully slapped him and he laughed. A laugh that could light my heart up, somehow that laugh reminds me of someone.

"Am I interrupting you? I just want to come by and say hello to you."

"Friend? Really? I think it's more on the girlfriend side than the friend side."

I forced a laugh and became unsteady. I could feel my heart burning inside.

"I'm just kidding, Taylor. Don't take it seriously, bud. Please."

He look at my shocked and hot face. I'm shocked and mostly scared about what's gonna happen next.

"Why are you so sensitive when the subject is about friend and girlfriend?"

He asks me. I stood there freezing and not knowing what to do.

"I-- it's complicated. It's not complicated, how's Talia?"

I changed the subject as quickly as I could. I can't think about him, not now, especially when Kaden is here.

"Tal? She's good, she's been really busy with her new boyfriend apparently, I'm left alone."

"I'm scared she will left me and forget me. I don't want that, Taylor."

The sentence makes my body shiver. I want to say that I feel the same way, but I can't open this up to anybody, I'm scared. I want to keep this confidential as long as I could.

"I've been there too, she wouldn't do that."

I tried to make him happy. I forced myself to find happiness when my happiness is washed away by him. The person that left me like a crumpled up paper.

***

I went home shortly after that little talk. The autumn leaves is falling down to my shoulder, down to my feet. It's calming and beautiful to watch it fell.

I sat under the beautiful tree, it was a hot red and orange color. The thing about autumn makes me happy, and calm. Sometimes I would sit here and enjoy the view from here.

I lean on the tree and closed my eyes. It amaze me to see how beautiful the world is actually, when my inside is dark. I might be beautiful but I'm mysterious. I'm dark inside me, I'm broke inside me, but no matter what I want to be happy, I learn to be happy each day.

Without him I feel lonely and mostly empty. But I learn, I learn to love and be happy for someone. I learn it for almost 4 years, 4 years to learn. I might be crazy but I still can't get rid of him.

It's all too well, our friendship is too well for me to get rid of it. I tried everything to keep him in my heart but it had washed away.

Every time I hear that name Harry Styles, my body got hot and cold. I'm mad, I'm disappointed, I'm hurt, but I can't keep going like this.

He's just a stranger to me, he's a long lost friend, a long lost lover. Just one thing I always wish is that I wish he knew that I love him, I never get the chance to say I love you.

I feel numb inside and outside. The first thing that came to my mind that time was don't leave me alone.

He promised me he never would forget me, he promised me that he will always love me but the truth is it's all a lie. A lie is the truth.

We lost contacts. I lost my love for him, my love for him has faded and now its hate. It's full of disappointment and depression.

I'm broken without him, I'm nothing without him until I found Kaden. The boy that always cheered me up, the boy that always makes me smile. But no one will replace Harry.

He's the only boy i could relate to. He's the only person I actually loved to death until he actually broke me up. My trust is broke when he left me without contacts. When he broke his promises.