Is This What Love Feels Like? - Afterdeath

Chapter 1 - A Flashback Intro

A/N
This is kinda like a stream of consciousness or flashback at first (or this entire chapter) so bear with me. It may seem like he's talking to you at times, there only time he truly breaks the fourth wall (because I don't know how to write) is when I mention it.
Sorry
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Genos P.o.V
It's pretty lonely bring by myself in the save screen. Nothing to do, nobody to talk to... Just me, myself, and my thoughts. I guess it's my fault though, there were always opportunities to leave to visit other people and talk to them, opportunities to go see other Universes. I heard these other Universes had other versions of my and my friends, but I never accepted the offer, never left the save screen. "Why?" my nonexistent ears hear you asking, it's because I don't feel like it, that's why. (Geno, stop braking the fourth wall) Also, I haven't really figured out how to do it myself. There was this one guy that used to come to visit me every now and then, he'd usually ask if I wanted anything, or if I wanted to go visit another one of the Universes, maybe make some new friends. He would sometimes tell me about some of the other versions of me and my friends. I would always decline, but it never stopped him from coming back. Seemed like he actually cared. One time though, he just stopped coming back. He didn't tell me he wouldn't come back though, so I was left alone again. I guess he finally realized he has better things to do instead of talk to me.

     After a while of him not coming back I actually kinda started to miss him coming to talk to me. Whenever he visited it gave me someone to talk to, something to do besides thinking to myself, whether it be out loud or in my head. It also gave me something to look forward to. When he stopped showing up, part of me just accepted I though. That's how it was before, and it was just meant to be I guess. Tibia honest though, it was hard to judge how long it was between visits, or how long it was since he stopped visiting, kinda hard to tell time here in the save screen. Another thing is, he didn't tell me he would stop coming, for some reason that bothered me. I don't know why though, it just did.

     I sat alone thinking, it's what I have done and what I will do until I die, if I ever do die. This was normal. I was thinking about how it could have gone differently. How everything could have gone differently. I could still be with my bro, with my friends. I could have done more, I should have done more. I deserved this, this is my punishment for not trying, for always slacking off. But it was either that, or live in the constant reminder that everything you do will just be reset. My options weren't too great, but I still wish I could go back and do better, fix my mistakes. I just wasn't good enough, and this is what I get for it. Sometimes it hurts to think about it, but it's all i can do really. I think back to the final battle with the human, yes Frisk, but at the same time, not Frisk. The Frisk I knew was kind. This was Chara in Frisk's body. Whenever Chara got her way, everybody would end up dead. It would end up being my job to place her judgement.

-Flashback Thing-
     We faced of in the Last Corridor, a.k.a the Judgment Hall. I recited my respective lines, while Chara just stood there. At a glance they would look innocent, just a kid standing there smiling. But that wasn't the case, not this time at least. You could see the dust sprinkled on their clothes and knife, their was even some mixed in with their hair. It was like they didn't even care, which they probably didn't, that they killed almost everyone in the entire underground. They're smile looked twisted and sadistic, their unwavering glare glued to me, their next victim. I thought I could win. Thinking back to that now, that was pretty dumb, but I can't change it now, is too late. We started to fight, taking turns as the rules state. At least the kids played by the rules. I kept killing them, but they kept coming back, the kid had allot of DETERMINATION. I was just an obstacle in their way. They would not give up, they weren't just determined, but they were also relentless. Eventually it came to point where I had to do it, I had it planned as a last resort, a fail-safe. I had stolen a vial of DETERMINATION from Alphy's True Lab. I knew it was a major risk, but there was no other way I could think of to beat the kid. I couldn't get help because everyone else was dead, and my determination (yes, lowercase) alone was no match compared to the kids DETERMINATION. Right before my "special move" I took the vial and injected myself with the DETERMINATION. I felt different, i felt more powerful, the DT (I'm tired of typing all dat) filled me with, well y'know... determination, and continued with the fight. Chara however, was still relentless. My actions still being predictable to them, and becoming more and more so. Eventually, after many more hard fought faceoffs, the kid eventually got me. The sound of some of my coat and my shirt ripping and the sound of the metal part of the knife hitting bone was painful to hear, even if I don't have ears, and doubly as painful to feel. Before I completely turned to dust, I walked off a bit and teleported away, I didn't want Chara seeing me turn to dust. When I was done teleporting I was expecting to be in Snowdin, but I was in some weird black room with a small patch of green in the center. Another thing that shocked me, was that I was no longer turning into dust. I also only had 1/9 of a soul, strange. My chest was still bleeding yes, and it was still coming out of my mouth, but I wasn't doing anymore. There still was pain, but I got used to it. I think the place I'm in is where the kids does their RESETS, the save screen. But even here I'm helpless to do anything. All I could do was watch as me, my bro, and all of my friends we're replaced. All I could do was hope that my copy and my friends had better luck than I did.
-End of Flashback Thing-

It hurts more to even think about it sometimes, but I've learned to deal with it, and to deal with the pain. It's a punishment for not doing better. I usually end up thinking about that moment, but sometimes I'll think about three good times I had with my bro and my friends. Those thoughts bring a nice feeling to my incomplete soul, but those memories are few and far between. I never have much to think about, my memories are scattered and blurry. The only clear one being my final battle with Chara. But with my recent visitor it gave me something else to think about. "What will he ask next time?" "I wonder how long it is between visits for him." "When is he going to come back?" "Is he going to come back?" and others. The last ones being more recurring thoughts since his recent cease in appearances.

Sometimes I wonder if he still cares. Or did he finally give up on me? Either way, I never really deserved anything from him. I put myself here, and I'm going to live with it.

I found myself sans a friend once again. (Trying to make light of a dark situation)

But one thing was always in the back of my mind, what did Chara seek to achieve from a Genocide run, were they expecting something? I could never find out what it was...

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Who is this mystery visitor?
Put your guesses in the comments below
Find out in the next chapter

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Holy smokes
Almost 1.5k words
And I know it's a Sunday, but the longer I would've procrastinated with this, the higher a chance it would have been for you to not even see it. EVER