The Man in Strings

VI. Strings

"Okay, sorry, sorry," I raised both of my hands. "I'm sorry, Sebastian, Celestine."

The frown didn't disappear. "Hilaw 'yung sorry mo. Alam mo, hindi ka attached sa kanila kasi hindi ikaw 'yung nagpangalan sa kanila. Ikaw nga magpangalan kay Sebastian!"

"Why did you give me the right to name Sebastian?"

Maine shrugged. "Naisip ko lang, Sebastian is a name for crabs."

"Crabs?"

"Walang childhood," she narrowed her eyes at me. "Sebastian, 'yung sidekick ni Ariel." Recognition still refused to cross my face. "Hello? Disney?" Wala pa rin. "Grabe. 'Wag na nga. Anong ipapangalan mo?'

"Sorry naman," sabi ko. Hindi ko talaga alam, eh. "Siegfried."

"Siegfried?" Nag-isip sya sandali. "Okay."

I raised my eyebrows. "Does that mean I'm the father?"

"Syempr - what?" Natawa ako sa expression ng mukha nya. She's about to answer 'syempre' pero siguro saka lang nya na-realize na we're making this little family through fishes, and her sudden reaction was so cute. "Hindi ah!" Sumimangot sya. "Tito ka lang nila. Babies, meet Tito Rj."

"Okay, okay," I said, while having short laughs in between. May naisip lang ako bigla kaya ako napasimangot. "What about Jake?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Anong meron kay Jake?"

Don't tell me he's the father, or else we'd be having fishes for dinner, Maine. Don't. "Ano siya sa pamilyang 'to?"

Maine burst out laughing. "Alam mo, nakakatawa ka," she said, while pointing her forefinger at my face. "Wala pa ring nagbago sa'yo. Confident ka naman sa mga kaya mong gawin pero pagdating talaga kay Jake, bigla-bigla kang nagiging ganyan."

"Anong 'ganyan'? What do you mean?"

"Ganyan," she mumbled. "Territorial. Competitive. Defensive. Like he's going to take important things from you."

But I do feel that way, especially when it comes to you. I wanted to say those things. "It seemed like he would."

But all my uncertainties got washed away as Maine used her letters, her words, and her undeniable charm that made my heart jump. And flutter. And do seventy-seven cartwheels across this room because I fucking loved and love her too much.

"Trust me, Rj," her words slipped away from her mouth, hardly a whisper, but loud enough to speak directly with my pounding heart. "He can't."

I choked, then embarrassed myself because I said the stupidest reply ever: Kinilig ako.

Pagkatapos, tumawa lang nang tumawa si Maine. In fact, she laughed so hard that she even had to sit on the floor and hold her stomach. "That... is not so you, Rj," she said when she recovered. "I never knew I could hear you say that. Never sa buong buhay ko."

I hated myself for saying that, too, but by seeing her laugh this way, gusto kong turuan 'yung sarili ko na 'yun na lang ang sabihin araw-araw. Sobrang out of character. If I was a character in a literary piece, kukuyugin 'yung author ng mga readers nya dahil sa sudden character development.

But the hell I care - Maine's laugh was everything.

And it's true. I've always wondered kung paano kiligin ang mga lalaki. I had difficulties sorting out my feelings. When I was with Abba, I'd smile out of nowhere kapag nagre-reply sya. I classified that as happiness or excitement, dahil minsan lang 'yun mangyari dati.

Ngayon, dalawang bagay lang ang tinetext nya: 'Asan ka na? Gutom na ko.' or 'Asan ka na? Coding ako.' and I hated both. 

Hindi ko rin alam kung paano, pero baka ito na talaga 'yun. "But seriously," I told her. "I think... that's kilig."