build me up buttercup [s.black]

[27] Twitches

"We're a little bit more than friends, actually. Probably a concept that someone as immature as yourself can't grasp. But don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll get there." Sam's eyes, usually so warm and kind, were hard and cold. But Aisling was less concerned with Sam's face and more with her own.

She had developed a strange habit. Whenever anyone referred to herself and Sam being...whatever it was that they were, her eye would twitch. She had hoped that it would go away once she got used to the idea, but it had been over a month now and it was still happening involuntarily. She ignored the voice in her head telling her that this was a sign, that her body was physically rejecting the match. He made her happy, and he was nice to her; which was more than could be said for certain people.

It was subtle, in fact even she barely noticed it anymore, but she could tell by the look on Sirius's face that he had. He opened his mouth, almost certainly to point it out. But as he stared defiantly at her, all that stared back was a pleading look in her eyes. She shook her head ever so subtly, so that only he could have seen it. Every part of her body language seemed to be screaming out two words.

Please, don't.

And he didn't. Instead he stood up, and smiled airily at Sam.

"You're right, I am immature. I'm nowhere near mature enough to be in the library." And with that he left; tossing his hair over his shoulder as he walked past Madam Pince, who was looking sternly at him over her glasses.

"What's his problem?" Sam muttered, more to himself than to Aisling.

"Just ignore him, he's an eejit." Aisling said, running her hand up and down his arm in what she hoped was a soothing way.

"No seriously, we used to be mates. But ever since you and I..." There it was, the twitch again, but Sam didn't notice; he was too busy ranting about obnoxious Gryffindors with stupidly long hair.

"I mean what kind of man puts his hair in a ponytail?" He asked incredulously, looking at Aisling for agreement.

But she merely shrugged, not willing to admit to him that she very much liked the long hair. She nuzzled up to him, trying to ignore the twitching in her left eye.

"Did you want to go and play Quidditch then?" She asked.

"Nah, not really in the mood anymore." He mumbled, looking thunderous.

"Okay, that's fine."

She went to kiss him on the cheek. But he turned suddenly towards her and got her on the lips. Apparently the altercation with Sirius really had him het up, as he was soon kissing her in a way which would have been most embarrassing had Madam Pince decided to come around the corner of the bookshelves. After a few minutes, he broke away.

"Would you like to go somewhere a little more...private?" He asked her, his flushed cheeks and slightly heavy breathing indicating that he certainly would.

But with these words Aisling was forcefully reminded of something that someone else had said to her a couple of months ago, right after Gryffindor had won a Quidditch match.

"Actually I have to- erm..." She paused, thinking of an excuse. "I forgot, I promised Alice to help her with her Runes homework tonight."

She bit her lip nervously, she had always been a terrible liar.

"Okay, no problem." For a split second she saw doubt flicker across his handsome features, confirming that he wasn't at all convinced by her lie. "You want me to walk you up to your common room?"

"No, no I'm okay thanks. See you later."

She kissed him again, making sure she got his cheek this time.

"See you later." She repeated, and she swept her things into her bag before walking briskly out of the library; hiding her flushed cheeks from Madam Pince behind a mop of dark curls.

***

"Where the hell have you been?" Aisling demanded angrily, standing up from her armchair as Alice and Frank clambered through the portrait hole at around eleven o'clock that night.

"Ash!" Alice exclaimed, clearly startled. "What are you-"

"I need to talk to you." Aisling cut across her. "It's urgent."

She looked meaningfully at Frank, who raised both hands.

"Don't mind me." He said, backing away towards the boy's dorms. "I was just leaving."

"What was so urgent that you waited up for me?" Alice asked, trying (and failing) to flatten down her hair with her hands.

"It's- it's about Sam." Aisling said, awkwardly staring down at her feet. She wished she hadn't stood up now, as compared to Alice she was feeling especially gangly.

"Alright?" Alice looked at her sideways. "And why couldn't you talk to Lily about this?"

"You know how she is when we talk about boys, she just gets all upset because she hasn't had a boyfriend."

Aisling hadn't meant to say this and instantly felt guilty; although she wasn't wrong. Thankfully, when she looked up she saw that Alice appeared to agree with her, as she was nodding solemnly and sitting down on a sofa. Aisling collapsed into the seat next to her.

"So it's just that-"

"Before you say anything," Alice was the one to cut across Aisling this time. "Does this have anything to do with the fact that you don't actually like him and you're only with him because you feel like you should like him?"

Aisling stared at her, wide eyes blinking rapidly. Alice raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh come on Ash, every time someone mentions that he's your boyfriend your eye twitches. See, it just did it!"

"He's not my-"

"Oh, come off it Aisling." Alice said sternly. Aisling started at Alice's use of her full name. "He is your boyfriend, or you're at least seeing each other. You go on dates, you kiss, you hold hands, neither of you are seeing anyone else. The fact that you're always to eager to deny it is just more evidence that you're not actually into him."

She paused for a second, looking at Aisling kindly.

"Frankly, I'm surprised it took you this long to realise it." She said. "Now, why don't you tell me everything?"

And Aisling did. from hers and Sirius' trip to the Room of Requirement and his radio silence afterwards, to the ball and the date in Hogsmeade with Sam. She even told her about the snog on the staircase a few weeks prior, though she averted her eyes at this bit, feeling ashamed. And when she was done Alice stared at her very hard for almost a full minute, Aisling swore she could hear the cogs turning in her friend's head. Finally, she spoke.

"I think you know what you have to do Ash. You just want me to tell you what to do so that it's easier."

Aisling nodded miserably.

"I have to end things with Sam, right?"

"Yes." Alice said, nodding firmly. "And you have to tell Lily all of this too, she may not understand it, but she's our best friend, and I know she'll be there for you."

"I know; I just feel like..."

"Yeah it's shit, but right now we should go to bed; it's really quite late." And the two girls traipsed up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

"So, why were you and Frank out so late?" Aisling asked, eyeing Alice suspiciously.

Alice smiled back mischievously.

"You're not the only one who's figured out how to use the Room of Requirement Ash."

And although Aisling laughed, she couldn't ignore the heavy feeling in her stomach. She knew that tomorrow she would need to have a very difficult conversation, two if she counted the one with Lily. But, with any luck, one good thing might come out of it all.

Her eye might finally stop twitching.