Samsaara : Devadoot

Knocking on Heaven's Door

Howling; loud sounds of howling, wetness on my face, cold. I woke up with a sudden gasp of breath. Surrounded by the mongrels, that had followed me. While I was lying on the river bank in my loin cloth, the first light of dawn was warming me up. My whole body was out of the water except my feet. My hands were clasped onto the pin all this time. The ground beneath my head was stained a rusted red with my dry blood. Tiny silver minnows were pecking at my feet in the water.

Dragging myself on my elbows and knees I stood up. Shivering in the cold I stretched my limbs. The dogs who kept watch on me all night, got up and went their own way. I followed the bank of the river upstream. After walking on the rounded pebbled path for a few hours, at last I reached the spot where I had left my clothes. A beautiful black raven perched upon the bed of my clothes was toying with my watch, trying to steal it.

I shooed the raven away and inspected my clothes. Except for a few holes made by the raven's claws my clothes were intact. I threw away my still wet underclothing and dressed myself up. The dry clothes warmed me up and the rigor stopped. Now I was finally able to think clearly. That was needed considering all that happened yesterday.

The vivid dream/vision I saw when I was knocked out cold was clearly no coincidence. I truly thought it was an out-of-body experience. Never had I seen such a vivid dream. Every sight, sound, colour and fragrance that I had experienced on that day was reproduced accurately in my mind. Everything was the same. Except she appeared more beautiful than before, which was no mere feat, considering her talismanic and hypnotic beauty had already left me spellbound.

The girl from my vision was so beautiful and graceful. The way she glided serenely on the ground rather than hobbling like us trolls; The way her clothes gently embraced the smooth curves of her body. Everything was the same as I had seen. Except it was not what had happened in reality. She did not bump into me. I did not see her, nor did I instantly and helplessly fall for her.

That was now the least of my concerns. The thing that had me puzzled was how she came forth. The warping of space, the bright lights, time itself slowing down at her will. She split the fabric of space, into the shape of an ellipse. It had pointed corners, like a human eye sideways.

Also, the way she used the pin by stabbing it in the empty space and turning it to open the door with bright lights inside them. Was it a pin? The way she used it looked more like a key and less of a hair pin. She must have tucked the key in her hair.

Just then another thought struck me. In my vision the girl did not bump into me. She did not drop the key either. She just went in the portal with her key. Now, in reality she bumped into me. That must have loosened the key from where she had kept it. Also, she did disappear but the key was no longer with her. It was with me. What happens when you do such a thing is what I had to find out. I remember her uttering the words 'dwara udghataya'. It sounded like Sanskrit to my untrained ears. I know that the word 'dwara' means door in Sanskrit. So I assumed these words are related to the door being opened.