Spencer Reid- Dilaudid

Chapter Five

Spencer's POV
Tomorrow is my first day back to work at the BAU and I'm freaking out.

It's been two and a half weeks and in that period I went to visit my mom and I re-read every book in my apartment at least 20 times, not that I mind.. I enjoy reading and being alone.

I glance at the clock... 11:15pm and I still can't fall asleep

I go to my bag and grab the bottles. I'm physically and emotionally drained. Every time I try and sleep I wake up sweating, having the same dream over and over again, except sometimes Tobias manages to kill me so what choice do I have anymore? The team needs to think I've been getting better and this is all I can think of.

"It helps" I think remembering his bold scary voice

I roll up my sleeves and look at the track marks slowing fading away.

Well to late for that, grabbing the needle and the drugs I slowly start to inject the Dilaudid into my system and dose of to sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks.

It helps

***

"Reid's back" Garcia calls as I walk into the BAU
"Guy's Reid is back" she adds again running in her heals to hug me

"Well well, look who it is, glad you're back kid" Gideon says

"Hey pretty boy" Morgan calls

"Emily Reid's back" Garcia says again and I laugh. Boy someone missed me

"Hey Spence" JJ says embracing me

"What? Reid's back?" Emily calls running for a hug

"Yeah I've only said it about 5 times" Garcia mentions

"Hate to interrupt but we've got another case" Hotch announces
"Welcome back" He adds

"Thank you" I whisper and head to conference room

"So what do we have today?" I ask

"You are all going to Canada. Numerous victims are going missing from the streets of Detroit, and the police have called you beautiful people in."

"Why are they just calling us now? Did they not investigate?" Morgan asks

"They did not originally investigate because those who went missing are people like junkies, the homeless and prostitutes." 

"So just because they live on the streets doesn't mean they deserve to die or not be remembered. They deserve more than this." I defend aggressively

"Reid that's not what I said" Garcia says sadly

I didn't mean to get mad at her it just came out harsh.

"They should have investigated either way, no matter who they are or what their lifestyle is" I say

"Agreed, That's why we're going to catch this man" Gideon says

"Wheels up in 20" Hotch says and I head to the bathroom

"Reid you alright?" I hear Morgan ask

"Yup"

"Uh ok then. Listen are we cool? I'm sorry for how I ended things a few weeks ago and sorry I haven't called. I thought you were mad at me."

"It's okay, I'm sorry to" 

"Ok good. Glad to have you back kid" he says and we get ready to board the plane.

"Morgan and Prentiss when we land I want you to head straight to Detroit, I want to make sure we have a crime before we get to deeply into this. The rest of us we will meet with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Get some rest now, not sure how much sleep we will be getting."  Hotch says and I shut my eyes praying the horrors don't wake me.

"That's the devil vacating your body"
"Prove you'll do gods will"

My eyes shot open and Hotch and Gideon glared at me from across the seat.

Reid your safe I think to myself.
Nothings going to happen yet why am I still scared that I'm going to shut my eyes and wake up in Tobias's' shack.

I get up from my seat and go make some coffee making sure to load it with sugar. I'm starting to worry that I wasn't ready to come back to work.

"Easy on the sugar there Reid" Emily says laughing making her own cup

I let out a chuckle. If only she knew this is the only thing keeping me awake, besides the drugs.
The Dilaudid...

I grab my bag and enter the washroom. Wiping the sweat from my face I grab a needle and inject a small dose of Dilaudid, enough to keep me going but not enough to kill me.

I exit the bathroom only to be standing by myself. We must have landed.

"Reid are you coming?" Hotch calls getting back onto the plane

I stare at him for a while before nodding my head and heading towards him.

Hotch must have noticed my scared face because he calmly asks
"Are you okay?"

"I don't know" I whisper hoping he didn't hear me, but I know he did

"Reid if your unsure about this you don't have to do this just yet; you can sit this one out if you need to?"

"No I can do this, I need to. let's go" I plead and jump into the car already ready to be done with this case.