Breathe

Chapter 1: Cigarette lips

      I strolled down the empty road barefooted. A ragged old university hoodie draped over my body paired with dull black leggings, only keeping  me slightly warm in the 50 degree weather but I didn't care about the cold, I was too fixated on the cigarette delicately sitting between two of my fingers. Every so often i'd place it to my lips and inhale the sweet nicotine smoke and it filled my lungs, relaxing my muscles as I kept trying to hold in my repressed thoughts. I could start to see more street lights ahead, meaning I was drawing nearer to town. Meaning I could buy some more cigarettes from the gas station. I would go through nearly 1 pack a day, it was chronic. But there was nothing I could do about it now, I was in too deep.

     I pressed my cold palm against the door, the bells ringing the same tone that was so familiar to my ears. As a wave of warm air surrounded my body I walked into the convenience store. My eyes immediately shifted to the shelf of cigarettes behind the counter. Eyeing the shelf carefully from a distance to try and find my usual. "Hey, you need anything?" A  boy behind the counter who appeared to work there said sweetly. He seemed so happy. He had gray eyes, freckles and light brown hair. 

     "Yes, can I get a pack of Marlboro please." I replied in such a monotone voice compared to the boys sweet and happy one. Hesitation was written across his face after I spoke, he seemed wary to give me what I asked for.

"You look young, are you sure you're of age?" His voice filled with wary. 

"Yes." I said, feeling guilty for lying to the pretty gray eyes before me. 

"I'm going to trust you on that, here." He handed me the small box, "That'll be 9.70 please." I handed him the money, thanked him quickly and I left. 

       I sat on the curb in front of the gas station and unwrapped the thin layer of plastic from around the pack of cigarettes, opening it up and taking one out. I balanced the cigarette between a small crack in the sidewalk, whilst feeling around in the pocket of my hoodie for a lighter or some matches. Nothing. "Shit." I muttered under my breath, I'd have to go back into the store. I huffed, seeing my breath escape my mouth and disappear into the cold night air. As I hesitantly got up and opened the door again the boy turned his head from his phone. 

 "Oh, you're back." He said slightly confused but he put his phone down and propped his elbows on the counter, giving me full attention, knowing I was about to ask for something.

"Yeah I need a lighter, or a match, which ever you have I don't care." I huffed

"Sure." He smiled and went under the counter shuffling around looking for what I requested. "Also, may I ask your name if you don't mind." He said from under the counter. My eyes widened in slight surprise. 

"Oh, uh no I don't mind. My name is Violet. What about you?" I said in a meek shy tone. I don't like talking to people.