On Broken Wings

~15~

I start to list all of the things I need to do when Sean places a gentle finger across my lips.  "I'm so sorry, Sang.  The things that happened tonight, oh, Pookie, you've lost the baby."

His voice is filled with so much remorse that it takes more than a minute for the truth of his words to sink in.  I place a hand on my flat belly and feel a loss so intense that I'm robbed of my breath.

"I didn't even know you were there, little one," I whisper, "but I love you.  I'm so sorry I didn't take better care of you."  A tearing pain causes me to double over and Owen gently massages my lower back.  "I'm so sorry," I croak once more.

"Sang, sweetheart, none of this is your fault."  Owen continues to massage my back and it helps to lessen the pain in my abdomen.  "Look at how you reacted just now.  Your first concerns were for the baby.  You'll make a fine mother one day, Sang.  Those monsters are to blame, not you.  Never you."

"Pookie, I can give you something for the pain, but it's going to knock you out for a while.  You have a few cracked ribs that look like they're on top of old, but not fully healed injuries."  He hands me two tablets and a cushion with a cord attached to it.  "Hug this, and I'll turn it on.  It will help alleviate some of the cramping from the miscarriage."  He kisses my forehead and sits back.  "I don't want to pry, but do you want to tell me about the earlier one...the one that caused the pregnancy?"

I feel so completely overwhelmed, and numb at the same time.  Echoes of birdsong sing through my head as I see the faint shadows of that beautiful meadow in my mind.

"I can't talk about it right now.  I'm too full of everything." I'm hoarse and feel like I'm being held together by nothing more than the whispers of air surrounding me.

He nods and Owen asks, "Has he been reported?  We have connections that can bring him to justice through alternative means if you don't want to testify against him."

I pull slightly away and turn to look him directly in the eye.  I'm feeling really drained, and it takes more effort than I would expect.  "My sister, Marie, told me that he was arrested a week or so ago for embezzling school funds.  He's in jail for now, so can we leave this for another time?  I know that your Academy or whatever you call it can take care of things, but I just can't deal with anymore right now."

Something shutters in his expression, but he gathers me back into his arms and rolls me onto my less injured side.  "You are much more observant than we give you credit for, Miss Freeman."

I feel that he says more, but I'm already drifting off into a hopefully dreamless sleep.

***

I look at the sleeping angel in my arms and know that Silas has chosen the perfect nickname for her.

"Sean," I whisper, careful not to wake her, "did you catch that?"

He looks up at me and his eyes are glazed and hollow. "What part?" he asks in monotone. "The part where I asked her to relive her rape, or the part where I broke her heart by telling her that she's having a miscarriage?"

I am instantly on high alert. Sean is one of the most even-tempered, naturally happy people I know. It's part of what makes him such a great doctor. I can't let him start blaming himself for any of this.

I delicately extract myself from around Sang and pull Sean into the hallway.

"Dr. Green," I snap. His eyes go wide and I'm happy to see a spark of life in them. "You did your job, and you did it with sensitivity and compassion. It was an impossible task, and you handled it better than I ever could have." I let my mask down and he sees my true self. "I don't envy you that, Sean."

He nods and shoves his hands deep into the pockets on his lab coat. "What did you mean, Owen, when you asked if I had caught it?"

His shoulders are still slumped, but at least he's thinking through it now. "A few things, actually. First, she has a sister named Marie. That should help us find out more about her." He nods along with me and shifts his weight back and forth. "Second, she let it slip that the man who assaulted her before was in a position to embezzle money from her high school. With that information, it will take Mr. Morgan mere moments to locate him." I feel my eyes go hard and my voice turn to ice. "The Academy will make sure that he never sees freedom again."

"If we don't get to him first, you mean," Sean adds. I grunt in acknowledgement and we're both temporarily lost to daydreams of violence and retribution.

"And finally, Sean," I adjust my glasses and he looks me directly in the eye. "She said that her attacker thought she was the one who was bringing him his drugs." I see a sharp focus overtake my friend and know that he'll be okay now that he has something else on which to concentrate. "That's our first real lead. I'll question the vile man myself," I'm a little frightened with the malice in my tone as I roll up my sleeves. "He was expecting a girl that looks like Sang. I will find out everything he knows."

Sean places a hand on my arm and nails me down with a look. "I'll come with you, Owen. I can't let you cross a line that you'll regret. We'll question him together, okay? Now put away 'Scary Owen' before you send everyone into a panic."

I laugh at him, and he smiles as the tensions eases.

***