Infinite Stars

2 | canopus

Canopus

(a supergiant star in the constellation Carina. It is the second brightest star in the night sky) 

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The sky was a shade of blue and black; the moon yet to come. The warm glow from the fireflies not only lit the night, but also kindled the fire in my heart.

Pressing the primrose harder to my chest, I let the stars guide me towards my parents' tombstone. Every step I took, sorrow and anguish squeezed my heart until I could no longer breathe.

Stopping to take a rest, I let my tears water the dry ground. The chirping of crickets drowned my sobs as shadows slinked past my ankles.

There it is... My father sleeping beside my mother. I like to imagine them holding hands as they slept eternally, but the corroded grave stones makes it hard for me to fantasize. Wilted primrose from last visit sat lonely on the bank as fallen leaves skittered across the ground. Brushing away the layer of dirt and leaves, I placed the current primrose between the two graves then let the breeze sweep my hair.

I sat alone in silence, letting memories unravel before me. I don't remember much about the time I spent with Mom since she died very early, but I do remember snippets of her face and smile. The way her eyes crinkle around in the corners when she laughed... Or when my father told me he married Mom because she laughed all the time. I remember my mother telling me one of the reasons why she fell in love with Dad.

"He sang Happy Birthday to me on my twin's birthday," she said, then laughed when Dad kissed her on the cheek.

These are the memories I can never let myself to let go because I'm scared that if I do, I would lose my parents forever. Memories are precious things you keep in a jar. You can always review but it depends on you whether you want to open it or not. The idea of opening the lid of the jar, letting memories float away just terrifies me. So I'll keep them all bottled up until it have no space. When it comes to that, I would risk anything to buy another jar. But knowing that I could've made more memories with my parents saddens me and it pains to see my memory jar fill only halfway. What's sadder is that there are children out there who has empty jars and I  always berate myself for being so self-absorbed.

I let this train of thought consume my mind as I picked up the drooping flower. Then everything became quiet; a nice kind of quiet. The wind stops howling in your ear, the crickets stops chirping. The sound of cars and city life seems to quietens , but you know it will never cease because the city never sleeps. And then you hear the sound of footsteps and feel glad you're not alone. And it surprises you because you see him and his eyes suddenly brought you back to the time when you used to stargaze with your father. Then you realize how bright his eyes are, like he has the whole universe hidden behind those cobalt blue irises.

And when he steps forward, your heart beats ten times faster and you feel stupid for even feeling this way. When he reaches out for your face you have no choice but to close your eyes because you need to calm down and you feel like you'll screw up the next second you move . And when his fingers brush against your hair you can't help but open your eyes again because nobody has ever made you feel breathless like this by a single touch. Then the sinking feeling starts when the blush starts to creep its way towards your face. He was just taking out a leaf entangled in your hair and you start to hyperventilate. When you try to run away he grabs your arm.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Auriga." I replied.

"Like the constellation?"

"Like the constellation."

Time seemed to stall as both of us stared into each others' eyes. He finally let go of my arm then smiled.

"What are you doing here at this hour then, Auriga?"

"I came to visit my parents." 

"Is that so? I came to visit my brother."

"I... I should be going..."

"You're not going to ask for my name then?" He grinned at me and somehow that made me weak to my knees.

"You're not my type," I blurted out. That only made him grin wider.

"It's Canis."

"Major or Minor?"

"I've never actually had the chance to ask my mother. Do I look like a Major to you?" 

My eyes took in his features then nodded. "You look like a Major to me." 

"Funny," he said. "Most people say I look like a Minor."

"Canis Major," I said and he looked up at me. "It suits you better."

"Thanks," he said. "Auriga is a beautiful name. Your mother must really love that constellation."

"It's my father, actually." Feeling like I have given too much information, I decided to back away. "I have to go."

"I'll see you again," Canis said, which puzzled me.

"You mean good-bye," I corrected. "I doubt we'll meet each other again."

"But I have a feeling we will meet again, Auriga. Good-night."

"Night," I said, then started my way back towards the red car.  When I looked back, he was gone. Sighing to myself, I climbed into the back seat.

There are people you'll meet once and the people who'll stay in your life forever. And I know guys like Canis would never be the latter, because they'll be gone the next minute you turn around. Just like how surreal the encounter has seemed, I feel that meeting Canis was a dream my mind invented.

How wrong I was.

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Look who finally updated.  I'm so sorry for the lack of updates but I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Since this is unedited, I hope you don't mind a few grammar and spelling mistakes.

xoxo sabri