"Are you cool with Romelo?" The question that I've been wondering about for quite awhile finally left my lips.
Her smile turned into a frown. "No." She shook her head. "I'll admit that I was angry with you so I started back hanging with Romelo and 'em, but I still cannot stand them. I was just... lost."
I nodded my head as if I understood what she was saying. Well, I somewhat understand.
The past is the past. Life is too short to hold grudges.
Keiara and I stayed at the diner for hours talking like old times. I told her about my internship and she was beyond excited for me. She didn't even bring Alex up! The reason I'm here now is to actually get away from him. I needed my space to clear my mind.
Although he told me he doesn't love me, I don't believe him. When he said he doesn't love me it hurt me, and it still hurts. I know he loves me. He has to love me. This giant diamond on my finger proves that.
He may not treat me right all the time, but no relationship is perfect. In a relationship you won't always be treated right because no one is perfect.
"I'll see you later girl." Keiara pulled me in for a quick hug.
"See you at school." I waved as I unlocked my car doors.
Instead of going right back home I went to the park and took in all of my surroundings. I'm grateful I brought my notebook and pen since I have so many thoughts running throughout my mind.
He's like the moon, very prepossessing and intriguing. He's like the moon, the way he glows in dark times. He's like the moon, never too dull nor too bright. He's like the moon, so different than what others think. He is the moon.
"It's the thuggish ruggish booooone, it's the thuggish ruggish booooonneeee." I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I quietly sung along to the old school radio station I had on.
I parked in the parking lot full of rocks and took the key out of the ignition. Instead of getting out, I stayed put in the car. Once I got home at four in the morning, Gloria called me and informed me on how Jermaine is no longer with us. We stayed on the phone until six just crying with each other. I can't believe he's gone. He's actually gone. But how?
First Ford now Jermaine.
I wiped the single tear that found its way to my cheek and got out of my car. Instead of wearing black I wore a peach colored dress with black and white converse. A lot of people probably find this dress ugly, but I don't care what they think. If it's on my body then I like it.
Making my way to the front of the crowd, I stood between Gloria and Lorraine. Gloria squeezed my hand before standing by the casket, in front of everyone. She cleared her throat before speaking. "Thank you all for coming, I know J would appreciate you all being here." She smiled weakly at us all. "He was a very, very sweet boy. He was kind to everyone.." Gloria's speech ended up going on for ten minutes or so. I didn't mind though. Hearing funny stories about his childhood lifted my spirits. "Then for Thanksgiving he brought this lovely girl home," she chuckled and motioned towards me. Everyone's eyes were now on me. I avoided looking at everyone though. "Watching the two of them was so amazing. She just so happened to be his favorite person to take pictures of, and I see why. She's very beautiful."
A small smile appeared on my face as I looked down at my untied shoelaces. Oh how fast the time goes..
"I know he's looking down at us all smiling."
I clapped along with everyone else as Gloria finished. Once the casket was lowered everyone began to leave. I couldn't help but notice how Jermaine was buried right by Raymond.
"Majesty." Gloria called. I stopped my walk to my car and turned on my heels. Gloria now stood in front of me with a small smile on her face. I'm happy to see her smiling despite her son being gone. The worse part is that no one knows how he died, or where his body is. "Jermaine left this at my house around Christmas time," she handed me the small box and folded piece of paper, "he meant to give it to you."
I took the items from her and smiled weakly. "Thank you."
She smiled in return and made her way to her car. I quickly got in mine and opened the box. Inside the box was a picture of me, which so happened to be his favorite picture he took.
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I smiled through my tears and unfolded the piece of paper.
Merry Christmas Majesty. Damn, I love talking to you. You're the only person I can have deep intellectual conversations with. Swear you're the girl version of me. You're so damn open minded, but reserved. I never knew I could meet someone as real as you. Your brain is such an interesting thing. You're so beautiful..
I wish you and your husband the best of luck, although I wish I met you before you met him.
But only God knows what'll happen. You deserve all the love you can get. Once again, Merry Christmas Majesty. I'll see you soon.
"You'll see me soon?" I sniffed and looked up at the ceiling of my car to try and stop my tears. "Soon isn't soon enough."
• • •
I literally have 3 different versions of this chapter, and don't really like any of them. I hope you all enjoyed it though.
