craving - n.j.h

ten

Chapter status - not edited.

-

Niall dropped me off at my house and said a quick, cold goodbye. Back to normal Niall, i guess.

Just as i opened the front door and stepped inside the house, my mother came rushing down the staircase and putted her perfect face up against mine.

"You've been out!" She yelled.

"I know," i laughed. I am not in the mood for going to war with my mother right now, so i decided not take it too seriously.

I walked past her into the house and headed towards the staircase.

She grabbed my arm harshly but i shook her off me and went upstairs. I am just so tired of her constant yelling. She'll never be happy with me anyway, so why try to satisfy her?

"Don't walk away!"

"I'm taking a shower, mother." I stated calmly from upstairs.

"You are coming down here when you're done! I'm going to give you a lecture!"

"Sure."

Ever since my grandmother passed away, she has aways been mean and hostile towards me. I have not quite figured out why yet but i guess the just generally hates me.

I am the oldest sister, the child they did not care for so now they have Belle. They're raising Belle to everything that i'm not, to the perfect young woman.

The bathroom floor was wet as i walked in, and the mirrors were already steamy. I reckon Belle has been in here before me.

I quickly got out of Nialls t-shirt and the awful pink sweatpants. I folded Mackenzie's sweater neatly with the rest of the borrowed clothing articles and stepped into the shower.

There was no warm water left so i quickly rinsed my hair from the shampoo and lazily shaved my legs before stepping out again.

The rest of the night passed by quickly. I never went downstairs again, not even for dinner. I found a chocolate bar from yesterday that i ate, it surely did not make me full, but i didn't feel like going downstairs to be violated by moms 'lecture' that she promised me earlier.

I sat in my pajamas in my room with a locked door, listening to music. I putted on some of Two Door Cinema Clubs songs i really liked, and silently sang along to the booming music. I thought of what Denise and Sydney could be doing as Niall crossed my mind. I thought of his rude comments and how he suddenly changed his mind and wanted to drive me home. I have only known him for three days and he already confsed me. Why was he always so hostile towards every living thing?

After a while i could barely keep my eyes open. I laid my head down on my pillow and closed my eyes. My dreams were clouded by blue eyes, tattoos and lip piercings.

I was pushed down onto a bed with needles as someone chained my legs and arms to the border. The disgusting face of the brunette appeared in front of me in the darkness. I stared into his hooded, crazy and lustful eyes. My back was pushed down onto the needles making me scream out in pain.

"Trapped.." i heard someone whisper.

"No one wil interrupt us here."

"Hush.."

I screamed again and tried to jerk my wrists out of the chains and it felt like i weighed about 500 pounds. A strong and forceful pair of hands grabbed my petite body and squezed me. The hands traced up to my neck and i instantly started to cry.

''No!''

I woke up and found myself screaming and sweating. I ran my fingers through my damp hair and tried to calm myself down. I stared out into the darkness and he only thing i could hear was my heavy breathing. My hands shaked. I felt so weak, so fragile. A drop of sweat made its way into my eye and i quickly wiped my eyes.

That brunette has really scared she shit out of me.

I felt his forceful touch lingering on my skin but i tried to keep my mind off it. I don't want to be reminded about that night, to be reminded of his alcohol smelling breath and wild eyes.

I slopped down onto the bed again, at least trying to rest. I know i would not be able to sleep after that nightmare, so i just closed my eyes and tried to think about something else, like what i am doing tomorrow. I figured i might go shopping, just to get away from my family. I don't feel like getting bombarded by rude comments about how i was out and how wrong it was.

-

I woke up early and rushed into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Today, I felt like i wanted to be as productive as I can, to somehow get my mind of what awful brunette that constantly crossed my mind. As i walk downstairs, it's about 7:30. I feel proud of myself for waking up this early to head out the door. I grab a cup of strong, black coffee as i usually do and consider writing a letter to mom teller her i went shopping.

No, why would I? I'm eighteen, I'm an adult. Thinking of myself as an adult makes me nervous and i begin the debate in my head whether to move out or not. It would be the best for me if I did, to have my own place, to have something that's completely mine. But first, i'll have to get a job to afford it.

I threw on my big, green jacket, my shoes and walked out the door.

The thought of moving out excites me but at the same time it makes me anxious. What would mom say? Could I keep up with the rent? Would i get a roommate? The thousands of questions i asked myself stressed me out so much i was almost running to the bus stop.

It was freezing outside, there were even frost on the wooden bench where i sat. I breathed out into the cold and watched the 'steam' from my breath flow out to quickly disappear again.

The bus arrived about three minutes later, and the drive was not very long. Just as i walked into the shopping centre my phone buzzed in my bag.

*Where are you?!* My moms name lit up on my crackled screen. I decied not to answer it, she doesn't have to know where i am all the time.

"I'm an adult." I repeat to myself and put down the phone.