SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS

The 'S' Word.

It seems to me that the problem with regards to accepting many sexualities resides in the general taboo around discussing sex.

When I was a child, my parents attempted to keep anything 'wrong' away; to protect me, as was done for all my siblings. In hindsight, I realise this was done more for things of a sexual nature than those of violence: any time sexual assault or rape came up in the news - bam - the channel changed, the TV turned off. It was the same for saucy adverts or scenes. This is common practice for most kids, and I totally understand where parents are coming from. I'm not suggesting that children should be allowed to watch the explicit scenes in Game Of Thrones but only up until 7:30pm 'because that's your bedtime, Andrew.'

But I also think kids shouldn't be shielded away from such things to the extent they are; otherwise they grow up into a community that doesn't understand the problems associated with having a hypersexualised culture. When those sheltered kids grow up, what happens is that all of a sudden, a large quantity of teens become interested in sex at the same time. It's a period of life filled with this exciting nervousness of growing up - and no-one is taught how to react appropriately. Yes, your parents may sit you down and give you the 'Talk', you might have sex education lessons in school, but if anything, they heighten the hype around the sexy times. They tell you: 'This is what you are supposed to be feeling. Go out and act upon it, but safely'. It is widely assumed that you will develop 'normal' sexual interest and act on it - not to mention that the lessons themselves rarely even mention anything that isn't straight sex. No parent touches upon the other complicated changes - the increasing educational responsibility, the ever more complex social hierarchies, the looming self awareness and existentialism. It's all: 'just use a damn condom!'

I wonder how many people have heard that, only to figure out they'll probably never need a condom because they're not heteronormative. Whilst sex comes up eventually, sexuality is never really discussed. I first heard the word 'gay' when I was about 8 or 9 - there were two boys in my class who went around claiming they were gay because they had the same name {they were both called Ben} and I never understood why their happiness was so funny. One afternoon, I was reading and my dad was in the room - it suddenly occurred me to ask him and so I did. He immediately replied 'oh, it means happy' and I was like 'no - the other meaning' and I remember my mum just came rushing in, and I'm not sure what happened but I probably got yelled at.

And gradually, as I got older and older and surrounded myself with more and more people, I started hearing terms like bisexual and pansexual and all of a sudden, there was this realisation that all these identities exist and I don't know how other people react to such knowledge, but for me, it was kind of overwhelming to just be thrown in the deep end of the rainbow-coloured waters and be expected to find myself. And there's still so much I don't know - I just googled 'list of sexualities' and came across:

Skoliosexual - {adj} attraction to genderqueer and transsexual people and expressions {people who don't identify as cisgender}.

Well, you learn something new everyday - but wouldn't it all be a lot easier if sex and sexuality were discussed a bit more openly? Children are naturally curious and are encouraged to ask questions, but they are punished as soon as the topic is deemed to be 'inappropriate' or 'adult'. I can tell you right now, after nearly a year of legally being an adult, there is actually no such thing as being an adult. I'm still as clueless and frightened about everything - perhaps even more so - because I'm expected to act upon things even though I've never been told about them. So, you know, introduce your little cousin to your asexual friend, answer Rebecca from next door's question about pride, laugh hysterically when your younger brother informs you that boys don't lay eggs {this happened. He's eight. I'm crying}.

Spread the love and rainbows and be happy!

Thanks for reading, LTAC!

                 - thefineideayoucrave