Stories for in the Campfire

Credits

Stories for in the Campfire

by: Ronaldo Siète

I dedicate this book to all the good writers and readers of the Wattpad-community because if they're not going to read it, who will?

Polderdam, 1 February 2017

Isbn: 978-94-92389-03-9

Editorial Perdido

Author's right: © 2016 by Ronaldo Siète

Author's right for cover design: © 2020 by Daisy Reyes (

Everybody has permission to read, use, print, save, copy, share and spread this shareware book and book-file and the texts in them, without permission, free of charges or costs. You can do almost anything with this book, except making money with it, because that is the right of the author who wrote the texts.

This is a work of fiction. All events and all characters (except one) are invented products from a dirty literary mind. Who's the exception? Not Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie or Cristiano Ronaldo: they are too good to be true, so they must be fiction. No, President Whatshisname neither, because it is pure fiction to believe that all those intelligent people can make such a big mistake. The only real character in this story is Santa Claus because we all know that he exists. Who else puts all those presents in your socks at night? The taxman?

Cover text:

@Ronaldo7Siete is serious about only one thing: he thinks he's the funniest writer at Wattpad. Of course, everybody laughs about that, but... doesn't that mean that he has a point?

In 9 tragedies Ronaldo warns us about writing; he tells about his experiences and advises us: "Don't try this at home, kids."

In 9 comedies you can read what happens if you don't follow that advice: you'll become the joke of the day, the absolute number 1 at the New Joke Times Bestseller list.

Is Ronaldo7 really the funniest writer at Wattpad or is anyone crazy enough to accept the challenge? Is this really a bundle of 18 short stories or did Ronaldo7 trick his readers? He is, in fact, a novel writer, and he does write great plots. You have a choice: read the book, or burn it (at Fahrenheit 451 degrees).

Disclaimer: The writer of this work of fiction does not accept responsibility for physical or emotional maladies that these stories might cause to readers. When you laugh so much that your face hurts, or when you fall off your chair of laughter, or even when you laugh yourself to death, the author of these stories will not pay the bills of your medical service.

No animals were hurt in this book: no chicken or sparrow or mocking jay, not one of the three little pigs, not that bird that cleans and cooks in "50 Shades of Snow White", not even the Dragon in the story "How To Kill A Dragon".

Read this book!

If you only read one book in your life: read "Happiness Now" by Andrew Matthews. If you want to read another book: read "Stories for in the Campfire" by @Ronaldo7Siete.

Why?

- It is dedicated to you, and to all the other writers and readers of the Wattpad community, with an exclusive pre-release at Wattpad before the book goes to the shops.

- It will make you laugh. Ronaldo7 is the funniest writer in Dutch literary history.

- It is full of tips to help you become a better writer.

- You will find out about the secret of the Dutch, a secret so secret that until now you never knew it existed.

- It will explain how to make money with your writing.

- It has a great plot, perhaps even the best plot since 1321.

- And all this is for free, ¥€$ 0.00, gratis, 100% discount with money-back-guarantee if you don't like the book.

You can't get a better offer.

What do you say? Do you also want free education, jobs for everyone and world peace too? Did President Whatshisname give that to you after you voted him? Aren't you ever satisfied? Sorry. You're the reader. As a writer I should do everything I can to please you, so if you read the book, I'll add the jobs and the free education and the world peace, and a happy end for everyone too. Okay?