You Soar & You Drown (Destiel AU)

Chapter Ten

“Hello, Castiel.”

“Uriel?” Cas was back in the room from his dreams, the one he’d seen Lucifer in ever since meeting the Winchesters. But this time, instead of his evil older brother, Uriel was here to greet him.

The other angel rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

“But why are you here?” Cas asked, immensely confused. This was the place of his nightmares. How did Uriel manage to incorporate himself into them?

“You see, somebody has been killing angels,” Uriel began. “And don’t worry, because we know it’s not you. It’s Crowley.”

Cas perched nervously in his wooden chair, staring at the other angel, waiting nervously for him to continue.

“You see, we’ve been creating these dreams for you. To see if you were the reason for these killings. And the thing is, Lucifer has quite a talent for getting things out of you.” For a second, Uriel’s face flickered into Satan’s, and Cas flinched. It flicked back almost immediately and the other angel continued. “We can’t kill you in your dreams, but we will find. Gabriel has hidden you for now, but if the demon king could find you, then so can we.”

“You’re going to…kill me? To stop Crowley?” Cas felt his voice tremble. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“So many of us dead,” Uriel said, looking like he was lost in memories. “So many of us gone because of a petty demon.”

“Why not just kill him?” Cas asked desperately.

“Oh, but Castiel,” Uriel said, smiling cruelly. “You’re just such an easy target. Sorry, Cas, but you’re going to hell.”

Cas woke up with Dean yelling his name and slapping his cheeks. He distantly noticed that he was freezing cold and wet, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“What happened?” He muttered, trying to sit up, but he was pushed back down.

“You fainted.” The boy’s voice resonated in Cas’ mind as he struggled to surface from his dream. “Hey, Cas, buddy, you okay?”

“Dean…” he said, shaking his head to rid himself of the dream. “Is Sam…is he okay?”

There was a moment of silence, and then Dean said, “he’s…uh…he’s resting. He’ll be fine.”

Cas felt his mind clear up and smiled at the Winchester. “Good. Can I see him?”

“No. Uh, no, that’s probably not a good idea. He’s not here right now. But I’ll take you to see him soon, if you want.” Dean’s voice was nervous, and Cas felt a foreboding feeling creep over him. Dean was lying, he just knew it, but he didn’t want to call the Winchester out right now. He had things to do.

Cas carefully drew another angel warding symbol on the windows, finishing the wards that would (probably) keep them safe for a little while—enough time for Cas to try to figure out how to kill Crowley. He started on the salt next, doing all the windows, doorways, anything he could find that might be an entrance to the house. He spray-painted devil’s traps all over the floors and in both the front and back entryways. He was so concentrated on his work that when Dean came up behind him and said his name, he accidentally dumped a bag of salt on his head.

From behind him he could hear Dean laughing, but he tried to ignore the Winchester as he spat out salt and combed it out of his hair with his fingers.

“Come here, Cas, let me help,” Dean said, still laughing at the angel’s expression. He pushed on Cas’ shoulders to make him sit down and wound his fingers through Cas’ dark hair, scraping out most of the salt. Cas smiled softly and closed his eyes, liking the feel of Dean’s hand rubbing over his skin.

“Now,” Dean said softly, lips almost touching Cas’, “I want you to tell me everything you’ve been hiding from me.”

“What?!” Cas jerked, just enough so his lips accidentally touched Dean’s. Willing himself not to be lost in the moment, Cas pulled away again and tried for an angry expression, utterly failing. “What do you mean?”

Dean gestured around them. “The angel wardings, the salt, the devil’s traps—you’re trying to keep out both angels and demons. And while you were unconscious, I saw the new marks on your chest. What the hell is going on, Cas? I thought we weren’t keeping secrets from each other.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me Sam isn’t fine?” Cas retorted. “I saw him. His wounds are gone, but he’s still unconscious. Which means Crowley still has a hold on him.”

“Look, Cas, I told you that because I didn’t want you to think it’s your fault.” Dean’s voice was anguished. “You tried as hard as you could to heal him. I could practically see your grace pouring into Sam. It’s not your fault. Crowley did this.”

“Yeah, okay,” Cas muttered dejectedly, turning his eyes down to the floor. He flicked his hand and the salt crystals disappeared, leaving the stained wooden floor polished clean. Dean gently raised his head and cupped it in his hands as he kissed the angel, long and slow. Cas kept his eyes open so he could stare into Dean’s green ones and pretend everything was all right.

“No more secrets, Dean,” he whispered against the Winchester’s mouth. He pulled away and gazed into Dean’s pretty green eyes, resolving that he wasn’t going to pull his lover into this any more. No matter what Dean said, Castiel wasn’t going to risk him any further.

“The dreams I’ve been having…the marks on my chest…it’s the angels,” Cas explained, sighing. “Crowley has been murdering them too. And the others are angry. They think it’s my fault—Dean, please don’t,” Cas said, looking down at the floor as he saw the frustration and anger in the Winchester’s eyes. “I know what you’re going to say. It won’t change their minds anyway. They think by killing me, Crowley will stop. So they’re after me too. And soon enough, Crowley will come after you as well, try to take you down. I’m trying to protect you, Dean, but maybe it would be better if I just left anyways.” Castiel continued to stare at the floor, examining every grain of wood and analyzing every bit. He waited for Dean to respond, but it was almost as if the room was empty besides Cas. Maybe Dean had left—how long had he been staring at the floor for, exactly? The angel looked up, expecting to see Dean’s face level with his, but those intense green eyes weren’t there. Cas shifted his gaze downwards, and there was Dean, slumped against the floor unconscious, Crowley’s mark scrawled across his chest in blood.

Cas just stared at him. He just stared and stared and stared. He might have been sitting there for hours, he didn’t know. He just couldn’t comprehend it. Dean, who had seemed so full of life and emotion just a few minutes…hours…ago. They’d kissed, and it’d made all of the complications in Cas’ life vanish suddenly. Dean Winchester had become his one constant thing over the past week, the one thing Cas could depend on, and now it was gone.

John. Sam. Gabriel. Dean. They’re all dying. Just because I wasn’t willing to… Cas swallowed and forced himself to turn his eyes away from Dean. Just because I was too cowardly to die.