Silently Screaming

Falsely Accusing Himself

Keith-

One thing Keith was really bad at, was accepting anything from anyone. Lances compliment was no exception. One thing Keith did hate though, was that he heard Lances words yet couldn't process them. His face turned into a blushing mess as he stared at the wall, unmoving. After about a solid minute, Lance realized he was barely breathing, and the wounds on his thighs were still gushing blood. He gasped and his mind said "Fuck it" and started to cry. Keith kept staring at a walk, now disconnected from humanity as his mind consumed himself.

"He's saying that because you're physically attractive. If he knew about the real you, he'd be running. You're pathetic, worthless and someone who should just die. You're screaming on the inside and no one cares. Stop wasting your parents money and fucking die already" All Keith could feel was pain. Emotional? Physical? Mental? He didn't know. All he knew was that big, soft hands were shaking while wrapping his thigh. To calm himself down, Keith started to sing 'Jellyfish Song' again.

The other boy started to relax at his singing/low humming mix. It was calming, and it reminded him of when he was with his large, very loving family. He's Spanish, and it really shows through in his family. His mother, Rosa, used to slap him with flip flops every time he'd skip out on dishes, yet she always hugged him and apologized after. His father, Victor, was a stern and hard working man. The care taker of the family. He had three younger siblings. 2 younger sisters and 1 younger brother. He had 2 older sisters and 2 older brothers. He was an uncle of three. Why did this slow, low song remind him of his family? He had no idea. Before he knew it, he was. crying even harder as Keith's blood soaked through the makeshift bandages.

Keith cried. Hard. Raspy. Ugly. Sloppy. Loudly. Unknowingly. Keith has just cried so much he doesn't even realize it anymore. He wishes he could. He wished he could talk normally, act normally, just be normal. Lance, Keith, the nurse outside secretly watching the exchange all knew, Keith wasn't getting better any time soon. And he hated that. As he stared at that wall, mind blank yet still filled with disgusting thoughts, he swore he could see faces pop out of it. Hands, clawing at him. Faces, staring with judging, white eyes. Mouths open, screaming yet making no sound. It was surprisingly nostalgic to Keith. Reminded him of him. Funny, what his brain could think that reminded him of himself.

(ouch my chest, actually hurts from writing this. I'm not kidding. my boobs and heart hurt from this or something else. anyway, this is done and my hands hurt! - Padget (we're having slight issues here)