When He Smiles - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 4

Focus on what? I don't know what to do! Maybe if I just slowly keep walking.

But just at that thought, my legs began to shake underneath me, my arms became numb and my body crumbled to the ground. My head hit the floor and I felt a jolt of pain shoot through my body.

I'm helpless. Worthless. Pathetic. Everything’s cold and... and empty. A tear escaped from my closed eyes as I heard his voice, my Hazza's voice, cry out once more.

"Louis? Please are you there? I need you!"

"Harry?!"

Why is everything so hard? Why can't I just pick myself up and walk over to wherever Harry is. My tongue brushed across my lips, tasting the saltiness of my warm tears. I opened my stinging eyes and attempted to scan the room around me. This was difficult given the position I was in, my cheek rested on the stone cold floor. My vision was blurry and I could just make out the outline of the walls around me. No Harry. No anybody.

"Harry!"

Why wasn't he calling back? Why wasn't he responding? He has to yell back. He has to say something so I know he's still alive! I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to him. Even if this is a dream. But... if this is all going on inside my head then why does it all feel so real? I've never had dreams like this before. My mind usually comes up with stupid things like licking someone's eyebrow off or checking a bunch of animals into a hotel room then not being able to find them again. This dream is new. Very new.

My eye lids became heavy and my thoughts began to drift off. My body started to shiver and I could feel myself distancing from the world around me. But that's not what bothered me. I don't want to be here, this world can burn to ashes for all I care. But Harry, my dear sweet Harry. I can't leave him here. That is, if he still was here. There was no one else in the room, but I still didn't feel alone. I could feel a presence. And I don't mean some paranormal ghost shit. I just feel something around me, like a thick cloud of... of emptiness. Threatening to leap on me, suffocate me and force its way inside me. Like it almost had in my first dream. Almost. Until Harry came. I longed for his warmth, the security I felt when his arms were around me. But this time he wasn't here.

“Harry?”

Trying to stay strong, I took a deep breath in. Then out. But I couldn't keep my eyes open for much longer. I couldn't keep fighting it. This feeling. Whatever it was. So, I gave in.

"Harry, I love you"

I awoke with a gasp to two hands pressed on my chest, lightly shaking me. I no longer felt the hard floor underneath my body, instead the softness of a bed. The cold air was gone and replaced with the warmth of the covers over my body and someone's breathe on my face.

"Louis, wake up!"

My tired eyes fluttered open. The light in the room was dim, but the lamp on the bed side table gave off enough light for me to make out my shirtless best friend leaning over top of me, face merely centimeters from mine. His eyes were heavy, has he been awake all night? Oh that's right, the cut. I examined the bandage still firmly secured around his head. It probably could have found something else to put on the wound, rather than wrap the meter long piece of material around his head. But it looks kind of funny.

"Are you okay?" His voice was small and his lips moved slowly as the worlds came out. His lips. Inches from mine. My mind quickly scanned over the question again and I simply nodded. I'm more than okay now.

"But you're crying...” I gave him a puzzled look but freed one of my arms from under the covers and lightly touched under my eyes. Oh no, not again. I never used to cry in my sleep.  I felt one of Harry's hands pull away from my chest and his thumb softly wiped a tear from my cheek. My heart rate immediately picked up and I bit my lip to try and hide the smile that was creeping up on my lips. I remember Harry being in only his boxers last night, my eyes quickly glanced down at his lower body, thank goodness he’d put some pants on. That would not have helped the situation at all.