Love Thy Enemy (Finished)

Consequences

"You what?!" she says loudly.

"I kissed Malfoy," I repeat, though I know she heard me.

"Tell me everything," she orders and I do. I tell her how nice he has been and how he was so helpful last night and how hurt I was that Ron hasn't bothered to write. I spill my guts to her and she listens with quiet intensity, never saying a word until I have told her every last detail. When I am done, her eyes are wide and her jaw has dropped.

"Why did you push him away then, if you like him so much?" she asks as soon as she gets her voice back.

"Because I am supposed to be in love with Ron, Ginny!" I snap at her.

"We don't get to choose who we love Hermione. Ron is my brother and I love him, but he is a moron. You were right to be upset at him, there is no excuse for him acting the way he is. Don't let what you feel you are supposed to be be feeling for Ron stop what you could feel for someone who could truly make you happy Hermione," says Ginny quietly and calmly, reaching out to take my hand.

"But it is Draco Malfoy, no one would ever understand," I sigh.

"Who cares? Those of us who are really your friends will accept your decision Hermione. Besides, if what you told me is true, it seems Draco Malfoy is not the bully he once was," she reminds me.

"I don't know what to do Ginny," I tell her, desperation clear in my voice..

"I can't tell you what to do Hermione, all I can do is support your decision. Now, why don't we head to the Library and get some homework done?" suggests Ginny and I jump at the chance.

For the next couple hours, I submerse myself in schoolwork and I am finally able to put boy trouble out of my mind. But only temporarily. By dinner time, all my homework is done and there is nothing else to distract me as I walk into the Great Hall. My eyes immediately flit over tot he Slytherin table where they land on Draco. He is sitting next to Nicola Cartson who is much to close to him for my comfort. He seems to be mostly ignoring her advances, but it still makes my stomach churn.

I follow Ginny over to our table and load my plate, but I can't really make myself eat. I pick at a piece of bread and have a few bites of stew, but eventually I give up and, bidding Ginny goodnight, head for my room. Once there, I decide to wait for Draco, to explain what happened earlier. But while I am waiting, there is a tap on the window. When I open it, Ron's owl Pig flutters in with a letter tied to his tiny leg. It is tough getting him to stay still long enough to free the letter. When I finally manage to get it, I rip it open and begin to read:

Dear Hermione,

I am sorry it has taken me so long to write back, but I know how you get about homework and I didn't want to disrupt your studying. Everything is pretty much the same here. The Ministry has had me and Harry training from morning until night every day to get ready for our Auror entrance exams, but most of it is pretty fun so I can't complain too much. I miss you and wish you were here cheering me on. Ginny told me you have to share a room with Malfoy, but that is was such an awesome room it was worth it. I hope he isn't giving you too much trouble because if he is, Harry and I will personally show up to kick his arse, muggle style. I can't wait to see you again.

Love you,

Ron

I stare at the letter in my shaking hands, guilt swallowing me. Then footsteps announce my roommates return and I look up to see Draco's guarded face staring at me.

"I see you got the letter you were so worried about. I am sure everything is all rainbows and unicorns for you now," he says coldly, striding away from me toward his room.

"Draco, wait!" I say, standing and walking quickly toward him.

"What for?" he snaps, stopping and turning to look at me, his face a mask of anger. But I can see behind the anger. I can see the deep hurt in his eyes and I feel tears spring to my eyes.

"I need to talk to you about what happened," I tell him, reaching out to grab his hand. He jerks away from me and takes a step closer to his room.

"There is nothing to say. Weasley sent you a letter full of love and kisses and now everything is better between the two of you. Last night was a mistake Hermione, and now that we both know what you want, it won't happen again. Now go write Weasley a nice long letter professing your undying love. You don't even have to tell him about what happened this morning. It can be our little dirty secret," says Draco and without another word, spins on his heel and walks into his room, slamming the door behind him. I hear the lock click into place and it rings out with finality.

Feeling completely hollow inside, I walk over to my room and without even pausing to change into my pajamas, I fall on my bed, fully dressed and let the tears fall. I don;t blame Draco for his anger, I deserve it. I led him on, told him I wanted to kiss him both verbally and with my every action and then I rejected him. And tonight when he came in, I was reading a note from Ron, acting like nothing had changed. He was right to be angry, he was right to yell. I could see the hurt in his face, the heart breaking sadness filling his eyes. I rejected him and now I have lost the new friendship we formed,  the friendship that allowed me to sleep at night and to make it through the day.

Even now, I can hear the floor in his room creaking as he walks over it and I know he is pacing. With every squeak of a floorboard I can feel his anger and hurt and restlessness like a blanket of pain, continually covering me. Hot tears streak down my cheek as I try to sleep, but it never comes. I spend every minute of the night listening to his pacing which never ceases and it isn't until morning that I realize I was not crying over my betrayal to Ron, I was crying over the loss of Draco. The thought is like a punch in the stomach. It brings me up short and I can barely breathe. Could my feelings have changed so quickly? Thoughts of the kiss intrude, the heat and passion, the gentility. I have never felt like that before, not with Ron of Krum or anyone. It was like Draco lit a fire in me that could burn away any bad thing that could ever happen to me, and I pushed him away. And as the first streaks of morning light begin pouring through my window, coloring the ceiling, I finally drift to sleep, aware of the fact that I may have made the biggest mistake of my life.