On Command ~ Sequel to Lost Heros

Doesn't Add Up

I took a couple deep breaths to calm myself. I was actually going to do this. I was going to marry the girl of my dreams and start a family. No matter how fucking crazy our world may be I'll fight for them forever. I was going to start fighting right now.

"Bucky? You listening, babe?" I heard her say. With one last deep breath I knelt down in front of her with a small box in my hand.

*Claire's P.O.V*

I ran. I ran faster than I thought I could ever run before. Faster than my tears could fall from my eyes.
After all, I had just planted a bomb.

~~*Flashback*~~

"Oh my god," I whispered covering my mouth at the sight in front of me. My entire body was screaming to run out of there before I hurt him but I remained plastered to the chair.

"I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I've loved you since the minute we met, Claire. Throughout everything you've always been the light at the end of my tunnel. When the war started you were there and gave me something to fight for. When we were at Hydra you saved me and I didn't even know who you were. And now we're back together at last, darlin', and I'm not letting you get away from me again. I feel like I've lived a million lives with you, Claire. And I'd go through all of it a million more times just to get where we are now. I love you so much.
Claire Allison Doyle, will you marry me?"

With a smile and a hopeful gaze he opened the box and I saw the bullet that killed me.

My hand remained clasped around my mouth as I felt tears fall. He only waited for me to respond but how could I? Yet how could I not? I was under orders and as I good soldier I had to follow. So I shot. . .

"Claire? Honey, say somethin'," he said with a hint of worry in his voice that pained me to hear. I wanted to accept so badly. To jump in his arms and wear the ring and be his.

But with trembling hands I closed the box in his hands. "No," I whispered. "I can't marry you, James."
His expression fell and I could only see a broken man kneeling in front of me. I had done this. "What?"

"I don't want to marry you," I said and hated how the lie rolled off my tongue. He frantically moved closer and held my hands desperately looking for an answer. "Claire," he whispered and I heard his voice crack, "You don't mean that."

I let go of his hands and stood up from my seat. "I'm sorry, James. But now's not the time to talk about getting married." I slowly tried to inch my way towards the door. I couldn't bare to see what I had done to him any longer.

"What do you mean?" He said standing. His usual steady stance was wavering, "Now's the perfect time. We're finally together again and you're pregnant an-"
My eyes widened, "What?" He ran a hand through his hair and walked towards me. With every step he took, I took one back.

He stopped and sighed. "Claire, I know you're pregnant. You don't need to hide it from me. I think it's great that we'll be starting a family soon an-"

"James, I'm not pregnant."
He stopped his ramblings and looked at me. "You're not?" He asked. "No and I don't understand where you got that idea from in the first place. You should know this as well as I do. Hydra made it impossible for me to have children."