Too Complicated

Chapter 70.

"Bella!" He yells looking concerned, knocking on the window. "Open the door! You can't drive-"

I speed away from him before he can finish his sentence. And when I'm no longer in view of the two, I finally break down into a fit of tears and gasps.

I can't go home. That much is obvious. That'll be the first place Devon and Hailey will look if they want to see me. Tammy's is out of the question since I'm almost positive she's known about this with the countless voicemails and text messages sent to my phone. This information only makes me cry harder as I head to the place that I know no one will look.

Or at least I hope not.

Although I feel bad about taking my moms car out for a joy ride, I'm not going back to that house. And even though this place that I'm heading to right now probably isn't the smartest choice, it feels like my only. 

"Bella?" He looks concerned when the door opens. "What's wrong?"

I can't help it, I break down all over again, falling into his arms where I bury my face into his chest.

•••

"Do you want to talk about it?" Gavin asks after what feels like hours of me crying.

I shake my head no, because in reality it hurts to much. Thoughts and questions cloud my mind to the point that if I talk about it I'll be wanting to get those answers.

"Okay," he nods, playing with a piece of my hair. He can't see my face due to our position, and I couldn't be any more grateful for that.

It has occurred to me what he must think about me running to him like this in the state of distress, but I haven't dwelled on it too much. He provides me comfort, something that hasn't changed, and it's what I need.

Betrayal cuts deep everywhere I go it seems, but I take into account what my mom said about Gavin. I did get something out of the hurt that he caused, it made me value family and love that much more and I earned that from Gavin. He's a lost guy, just like every other teenage male and I can't hold that against him forever.

Who is to say that I can't be with someone that I'm in love with just because of his mistakes? It's my choice whether I want to forgive him for the things he's done and move on. That doesn't mean that I won't have him work for it, it's going to take time to get back into the swing of things, but if he's willing than so am I.

"I love you, Gavin," I say in a whisper, lifting my head to face him. He looks confused after these words. "That should be all that matters."

"Bella?" He says almost in a sigh as I lean up cupping his face between my hands.

"I want to work to fix this," I say, my voice giving out. "I don't want to focus on the past anymore."

His eyes search mine, looking so confused and hopeful that it has the power to destroy me. I watch his every move, wanting to memorize everything.

He bites his lip. "I won't let you down, baby."

Those words are all I could ever ask for. And even though I shouldn't believe him, I need to learn to move on. Something my therapist in Australia taught me, and it can be on my own time.

I throw my arms around his neck and hug him close, half my body covering his as his arms wrap around my back.

Just like they always have.

Gavin's POV.

As Bella sleeps, I play with a strand of her hair. She looks so peaceful in this state, the tears she once shed no longer in sight. It hurt me to see her so upset, and makes me want to hurt whoever made her feel that way.

I wish she would've told me what had her so upset. I would've pushed it a bit longer, but I didn't want to cross boundaries that she made up. Her chance of forgiveness is all I want to think about at this time.

Hope had slowly dwindled away from me as the hours and days passed without hearing from her. Expectance is hard, but I tried. I don't deserve what she's willing to give, but if god doesn't know that I'm grateful. I'm not good enough for her, and there's a chance I never will be, yet that doesn't mean I won't try until the ends of the earth.

The events that took place six months ago won't leave any of our memories, and that's okay. Sometimes you can forgive, but forgetting is harder and you don't have to. I won't, just because I'll never get over the way I hurt her and I'll be damned if such things happen to her again.

My phone vibrates next to me which I pick up right away. I look down at Bella who stirs in her sleep, holding on tighter to me, but not waking. I pay too much attention to her sleeping figure again that the voice on the other line becomes louder.

"Hello?" I question, only slightly irritated that the person on the opposite line is disrupting my time with Bella.

"Gavin?" The girly voice sounds panicked.

"Tammy? What's wrong?" Out of the two of Bella's friends I've always liked Tammy a bit more than the brunette.

"Is Bella with you?" She sounds like she's been crying and that casts me eyes down to the girl I'm hopelessly in love with.

"Yes, why?" I feel like I should get up and walk out of the room before I become nervous as well.

"She wasn't answering her phone - and we were worried that finding out about Devon and Hailey-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait," I stop her. "Devon and Hailey? What do they have to do with this?"

"She didn't tell you?"

"No," I say, furrowing my eyebrows when looking at Bella. What really happened?

"Hailey's pregnant." I don't like where this is going. "With Devon's baby."

"Fucking hell," I curse.

Hailey's POV.

"Devon!" I scream at him. "Your sister just found out about us and all you care about is if she's with Gavin? What the hell is wrong with you?"

All of us have changed these months that Bella has been away, but Devon has become a huge asshole instead.

"We're not the big problem here, Hailey," he growls. "Did you forget the whole reason she left in the first place-"

I slap him. Call it a spur of the moment or whatever, but I'm done listening to him talk down to everybody. Me firstly and now his sister, he's done it since she left. He calls her stupid for going to him, for wanting him, but none of that has to do with him. He doesn't control her, and he definitely doesn't control me.

"Get out of my house," I point to the door. I feel like I've been doing this to him a lot lately. "You don't want anything to do with me, okay, but I won't have you insinuating things. You can leave."

He chuckles. "Good thing the pussy wasn't that good."

I clench my jaw as he turns his back to me, feeling the unshed tears fill my eyes.

Everything is just going to shit now.

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Too Complicated Sunday is here!! I hope you enjoy this very jam packed chapter :) and sorry for the absence!

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