Tokyo Ghoul - NEST

The Journal

Just like Kurona and Nashiro, she has been with me since the beginning. Someone that cannot be replaced. I feel my face heat up thinking that and I shake my head. It's embarrassing to think that, no way I could say that out loud.

I follow her up the stairs and enter my room, which the door was left open so I could enter easily, Rize was laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling. Sitting down in my office chair I open a drawer and pull out a leather bound book, small little check marks were all over in the pages with notes.

Rize glanced over and sat up. "That book is..." she trailed off.

I felt my chest twist in pain. "The book Vin gave to me. This has all of his info on every ghoul group he came into contact with." I exclaimed.

Rize gave a melancholic look. "Seems like only yesterday that jerk was by his monitors, ordering everyone around." She said.

A small smile goes to my face, remembering the faces he'd make, and the conversations he had with him. "Yeah."

"So... you want me here to make sure you don't cry?" Rize said with a small teasing voice. I was about to counter, but when I looked up, instead of a grin she looked at me with worry. One of the few times I've actually seen her express this type of feeling.

"... yeah." I mumbled, looking down at the book in my hands. I placed my hands in the position to open the book, and just froze. My hands shook, and I felt my lungs being choked. I felt... scared.

I trembled and my lip was pursed hard. Feeling a sudden comfort on my hand, I flinched and looked at my hand to see that Rize had placed her hand on mine. More guilt came, but with it came courage.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the book slowly.

. . .

Most would call this a diary, but I call it my journal.

Starting to write this is hard for me. This book is meaning one day I'll pass it on to someone else, who will hopefully finish it. With all the info I gathered, V is still a mystery.

I was once one of them. A V member. I'm not proud of it, it ran in the family. After father left my mother focused all her strength into making me the perfect man to take over V when she finally passed on.

I was like a prince there at V. Most would think this a good thing, but being treated differently from everyone else gets old fast. That night when I had the choice to kill a half ghoul baby...

I was young. I didn't deserve the choice of a life. I was on the fence, I was scared. But in the end I chose to spare it, and leave. Disappear. My mother looked for me for years, but with everything I was taught, I was lethal.

I hid in the cities underground until V finally gave up the search. Instead I opened Nest. I wanted to help people, wanted to show God or whoever watches over people that I can be a good man.

. . .

I flip to another page, further into the book.

. . .

I found him. And so did they. The moment I found where my father went, V was right behind me. Not surprising really, she would never give up. Not surprising she probably went mental.

America. V members inside of the CCG leaked info to make the higher ups want this "special specimen". A boy. My father's son he always wanted.

When I found this out, I felt lonely. I felt betrayed. Did my father ever really love me? Does he love me just as much as this boy? What makes us so different he'd choose this boy over me?