latibule ➳ bucky barnes

28. latibule

"Bucky...? What's taking you... so..." Anastasia, who had just entered her room to check on Bucky, froze immediately.

"Why do you have a gun?" Bucky demanded quietly, keeping his eyes on the weapon.

When he didn't hear an answer, he lifted his head and stared at Anastasia. "Why do you have a gun?" he repeated, his voice shaking.

Anastasia began fidgeting with the hem of her shirt and her gaze shifted from one place to another. After an uncomfortable silence, the answer finally came.

"It helps me sleep."

The statement took Bucky completely by surprise. The gun slipped from his hand.

"What...?" Bucky couldn't believe his ears.

Anastasia sighed and walked past Bucky, sitting on her bed and crossing her legs.

"I haven't been... sleeping well lately," she admitted, "ever since recovering. I keep... whenever I close my eyes I keep going back t-to that room. And I know that I-I'm safe here but I just-"

She began trembling and shifted uncomfortably. Panic rose into her eyes and it was clear that she was terrified. Bucky was by her side in an instant, pulling her close to him to calm her down.

"I-I feel like they'll c-come back for me and... a-and I can't stop myself, from remembering t-the bodies, and the blood, and the things they did to me..." she took a deep breath as silent tears fell. "I can't... I did everything and it still won't go away."

She stared at her hands as it shook violently. "W-Why won't it stop?" she cried weakly, her voice cracking, "I just want it to stop." She entangled her fingers in her hair and pulled her knees to her chest, hiding her face between them.

Hearing her begging so helplessly made Bucky's heart shatter. Bucky embraced her tightly, never wanting to let her go. He felt so stupid for not noticing how serious her struggle was sooner. No one ever escaped from HYDRA unscathed, especially an innocent. Knowing what it was like to be haunted by memories, Bucky knew how hard it was for Anastasia.

He felt undying hatred towards HYDRA. He thought it wasn't possible for him to despise the organisation more than he already did, but it seemed they always found new ways to increase his hate. They didn't only break Anastasia's body, they broke her mind. To think, they pushed her to get a gun, of all things, to protect herself... Bucky wouldn't believe it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes.

"Ana... Ana, look at me." Bucky said softly, lifting her face. Her jade eyes weren't filled with their usual light, they were haunted. They weren't made by a splash of vibrant colours anymore, they were put together by broken pieces, broken pieces of her mind and soul.

Her eyes were red and filled with tears just waiting to fall. Bucky felt an unbearable ache in his chest and he felt like breaking down too because his haven had been broken, but he held it together, for her.

"You're going to be alright, okay?" he said encouragingly, "you're going to make it through this. I'm here for you, I'm not gonna go anywhere."

"I-I don't know if I can..." she murmured, frightened to the core. She sounded like a child who lost her mother.

"You can." Bucky smiled, "I made it through, so can you."

"I-It's different... You're strong and I'm... Im not."

"Don't underestimate your strength, Ana." Bucky kissed her forehead gently. "You don't need to be scared, and you clearly don't need that gun."

"But-"

"No buts." Bucky said sternly. "If you need something to hold onto... keep this instead."

Bucky took out the velvet box from his pocket, which he was saving for that night. Anastasia's eyes widened and a small gasp escaped her mouth.

"James..."

A wave of anxiety rushed through Bucky as he opened the box, revealing the extravagant ring he bought. "I... was saving it for tonight but..." He trailed off before hardening his resolve. "I love you Anastasia, and I can't think of any other woman to spend the rest of my life with."

Anastasia glanced down at her hands. "You still love me, even when I'm like this?"

Bucky placed a hand on her cheek and tilted her face so she had no choice but to look at him. "I'll love you, no matter what. I'm unsure of many things... but the one thing I'm certain of is that I want you in my life, by my side, forever."

Anastasia closed her eyes as tears fell from it, but this time, they were tears of happiness, not sadness. She smiled and leaned against Bucky's warm hand.

"Anastasia Esfir Volkov... will you marry me?"

"Y-Yes." Anastasia nodded, her smile growing even bigger. She opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around Bucky. "I will marry you, James Buchanan Barnes."

Bucky sighed in relief and held Anastasia's hand. He slipped the ring onto her finger and grinned at the sight. It fitted her perfectly, as if it was made for her.

"Hold onto it." he told her as she glanced down at the ring, "you don't need that gun anymore." Anastasia raised her head and nodded.

He pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly, making sure she knew how much she meant to him and what he would do to make sure she was happy. She had pulled him out of a dark place, now it was time for him to help her. It was his turn to do something for her.

This time, he was her latibule.

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