In Your Wildest Dreams

Pt. 10. You Hangout With The Cute Guy

        "Come on, Alyssa. Just ask me."

        "Ok, I just wanted to know something....." He nodded to let me know I could continue. "It's just, I remembered how you talked about your sister that night. And I just wanted to know how close you were to her. What was she like?" I saw the pained look that flickered across his face. I never wanted to see him hurt, so I immediately tried to change the subject. "Never mind. You know prom is coming up? What are we going to—"

         "Like I told you that night, she was my best friend. I could talk to her about anything. And I did. She was the only one who didn't try to change me when I told her about my sexuality." I winced when he said that last bit. That was exactly what I was trying to do, wasn't it? I made this bet with him hoping that I'd make him see that he liked females. He saw my face and laughed. "I'm not saying that to you. I know this thing we have going on is just a game. It's for play." Ouch! Yeah, that stung. It wasn't playing for me, but of course he didn't know that. And I wasn't going to tell him either.

         "You don't have to tell me about her."

        He shook his head, "I want to. Hayden. Hayden was nice, bold, outgoing, creative, and happy. I never remember her raising her voice, except at my mom when they disagreed about Hayden's boyfriend. She stuck up for anyone who needed it. Even if that someone was a complete asshole to her, if they needed help, she helped them. She also spoke whatever was on her mind. Hayden didn't care how people saw her, as long as the ones who mattered loved her. When she lived with us, there was never a dull moment in this house. She kept us all on our toes. Always on the lookout for her next endeavor or crazy idea." He paused as if remembering something, then he shook his head.

          Continuing, he said, "She always knew the right words to say to cheer someone up. Everyone who came across her instantly fell in love with her. I know I sound all cliche and shit, but she was like a ray of sunshine." He smirked at me before continuing. "You actually remind me of her a bit. She never backed down from a challenge either. The harder the challenge was, the better. When she died, she took something from all of us. I remember closing myself off from everyone. My friends and family tried cheering me up, but it never worked. It wasn't until her first death anniversary came around that I snapped out of it. In the hospital, she kept slipping in and out of consciousness. She kept repeated one thing over and over. 'I forgive you. Keep that smile on your face for me, I love you.' And I realized I hadn't smiled for her in a year. The one thing she wanted me to do, I didn't do it.

         "So, I got my act together. I realized she wouldn't want me crying over her. Life goes on, it really does. I realized that the year Hayden died. No matter how angry or sad I was, how badly I wanted her back, life continued to move forward. The world doesn't stop because one person dies. I realized that. But, I also came to realize that it's our job to keep the memory of our loved ones alive. And we can't do it by moping around feeling sorry for ourselves. She wouldn't have wanted that for me." His eyes looked glassy, but there were no tears when he looked at me. "She'd like you if she had met you. I'm sure of it."

        I gave him a small smile, "I would've loved to meet your sister."

         He smiled and it took my breath away. Did he know how gorgeous he really was? "Well, enough of this heavy talk. I'm hungry." He got off the couch, walking into the kitchen with me following closely behind him. I sat at the island that was in the middle of the kitchen, watching him rummage through the fridge and cabinets for something to eat. "You know what I'd like?"

         "Can't say I do. But, you can enlighten me." I was going to go along with whatever he said or did. This was his way of changing the topic, making it more lively. So I let him do it.