When Women Were Warriors Book I: The Warrior's Path

Vintel

All I remember of that day was the cold bath. They insisted on washing me with cold water. They washed me there outdoors, where Maara had put me down on the frozen ground. After the bath, she put me to bed, and I slept through most of that day and night. Sometimes she woke me to give me something to eat or drink. I could hardly keep my eyes open. I slept, but I didn’t dream.

The next morning Namet came to see me. Although I had been awake since dawn, I didn’t feel like moving. Maara must also have been awake, because she got up right away when Namet came into the room. Namet knelt down beside me. She searched my eyes and touched my face and hands.

“How do you feel?” she asked me.

“Fine,” I said, “but I’m not sure I can stand up.”

“Like a newborn child,” she said, “you have just set your feet on a new path. You’ll find your legs soon enough.”

Namet stood up and moved aside so that Maara could help me up out of bed. She had me sit down on her bed while she and Namet dressed me. Then we went downstairs. We all three broke our fast together. It felt strange to me to sit with the two of them, a warrior and an elder, at the same table, but it was a sign to everyone that I was now a warrior’s apprentice.

After breakfast the three of us settled ourselves by the fire in the great hall. Although I was still tired, I didn’t feel like sleeping. I had begun to remember what had happened to me, and I wanted to try to understand. I remembered the beings in the air, but I couldn’t remember the stories they had told me or the songs they’d sung to me.

“May I ask you something, Mother?” I said to Namet.

“Of course, child,” she replied.

“Maara told me I should speak of what happened only to someone who was there.”

“Yes,” said Namet, “and you should speak of it as little as possible.”

“Why?”

“Because what happened can’t be spoken of. No one can tell you what it means. No one else can know that.”

“How can I understand it then?”

“What is it you feel you need to understand?”

“There are things I can’t remember,” I said. “Songs were sung to me, and stories were told to me, and I can’t remember any of them.”

“Your spirit remembers,” Namet said. “From time to time you may remember something. Each memory will come to you when you need it, or perhaps you won’t remember, but you’ll know what to do without knowing how you know.”

Namet’s words reassured me. I already knew that there was a voice within me wiser than my understanding. When I chose Maara over Vintel, I didn’t know how I knew it was the right thing for me to do, but I could not have chosen otherwise. It made sense to me that the part of me that had heard the warrior songs would remember them and would help me to act from the wisdom that was in them.

“What will happen now?” I asked.

“What you were is gone,” said Namet. “You have declared your intention to become a warrior. You can’t go back to being what you were before. The path you’ve chosen will take everything you can bring to it, and death may be the price of failure.”

I didn’t know whether the feeling in my stomach was fear or excitement.

“I’ll do my best,” I said.

“No,” said Maara. “You will do whatever is necessary.”

§ § §

That evening Sparrow found me in my warrior’s room. Maara was still downstairs with Namet. She had seen me nodding and sent me up to bed. Sparrow handed me a linen shirt. It was the same shirt I had cut out, but it was finished. It was beautifully done. The stitching was tight and even, and the sleeves had been perfectly set. I couldn’t have done it half as well.