Thorn || 5SOS

thorn || 06

It's been exactly three days after I spend the night with Ashton. I don't know why or how he did it, but when I was with Ashton I didn't seem to think about the incident or even anything other than having a good time. But as soon as I reached my house, my mind won't stop reminding me of the incident. I couldn't stop thinking about it and maybe that's why I make it a point not to come over to the cafe for awhile now, Ashton was fun and nice and it was one night but I have to get my shit together.  I remembered how he touched my sides and how his hot breath fanned over my face. I don't know what came over me, I was really drunken pissed.

 I honestly hate the fact that I did that and what bothers me the most is that Calum doesn't know and it's been killing me. I know I should tell him and I do but I couldn't bear the thought of losing him. I can't lose him and if I do it will be really awkward and hard for me because we're attending the same college, even the same classes. We've discussed about from time to time and he would get excited every time and he talks about how we should get an apartment instead of getting into those dorms.

I have so much future ahead of me and I want Calum to be a part of it. Do you really? My subconscious mocks me. Yes I do! I do, right? I do, I do. I keep thinking to myself. I do want Calum to be a part of it. I push the thought at the back of my head, thinking about how weird I am to have a conversation with myself. I've been keeping myself locked in my own room for the past three days trying to stop thinking about the events that happened. I was successful on the first day for three hours until I went over to my table touching the silver metal.

I played with it letting my fingers going over the engravements again and again. Forever. Will it though? Will it last forever? I remembered when Calum gave me the promise ring. It was on my 17th birthday, after my birthday party that I was totally against it but Sophia convinced me too. So we were in my bedroom just sitting around until Calum pulled me and asked me to stand up. He bend down on one knee, surprising me. He took out a small navy velvet box and I remembered how horrified I must have looked.

"Oh....my god Calum......I'm not ready for this" I said.

I was so scared and nervous until he opened the velvet box throwing me off course.

"Will you, Annora Thorn........"Calum said.

"Stay with me forever" Calum continued and then started laughing.

"What?" I said.

"It's a promise ring" He said in between laughter.

"A.....promise ring?" I asked.

"You looked so scared, I wished I had a picture" He started laughing even louder.

"You suck" I said, laughing along.

He then stood up and started coming close to me. We were only a few inches apart. And although he'd done this to me a lot of times, I still get butterflies when he was close. His eyebrows was knitted making a crease in the middle of his eyebrows. He came nearer and kissed me. Our mouths moulded perfectly. He pulled back making my lips lonely with the loss of contact.

"I love you, you know" He said caressing my cheek with one of his hands.

"I fucking love you" He said breathily, kissing me roughly.

I let my fingers gently touch my lips remembering the night. The ringing from the doorbell stopped my thoughts. It was probably my dad from his business trip to London. I put on some clean cotton shorts and head downstairs. When I opened the door expecting to see my dad, only it was Calum.

"Hi" He chirped.

"What... what are you doing here?" I asked, curious to see Calum in front of my house at 11 in the morning.