So, people are always telling you how things will get better and stuff. And I used to believe them. But not anymore. I was lonely, I got a boyfriend. We broke up I got this cute little friend I really like.
But now? This friend has probably heard a lot of shit about me from this girl that hates me for no reason for 5 or 6 years now.
My other friends I gained aren't friends I hang out with after school but I wish they were. I am constantly feeling like I don't belong and I just try to fit in but never will.
The people I thought would accept me are secretly hating me and I heard it loud and clearly when they thought I couldn't because I was like 10 meters away and listened to music. But I did. I did hear them.
My sister went away and everytime I argue with my mum I'm alone. Which leads me to
I'm having a lot of fights with my mom. Unnecessary stuff. But she hates me and as much as I dislike her, I don't want her to hate me. Kinda. It hurts me.
I've wanted to kill myself a lot recently. Because everything my life was, everything I build out of my life, is torn apart and fading.
This actually is hard to write.
I am clean for months now but I wish I wasn't. I'm just because I don't want to explain it to my mom. And that's the wrong reason.
Everything is so wrong now.
everything...
