Lost and Always Remembered

Chapter ~15~Mom

The phone rang and rang and on the very last ring someone picked up, it was Daniel of course, he was the last person I wanted to talk to.

"Hello"

"Is my mom there?"

"Jenny, how are you?"

"Fine, just looking for my mom, is she there?"

"Hold on one second" I could tell he didn't want to give her thephone

"Jenny, how are you!? It's so good to hear from you!" Mom sounded so happy, what is wrong with her?

"Mom, what are you doing?" I asked, mad as ever.

"What do you mean?"

"Where have you been? You can't even call or send me flowers oranything?"

"Oh honey, you told me to leave last time and I've been so busywith the baby. It's a girl Jenny aren't you excited! You'll have asister!"I stopped her in mid conversation.

"MOM! Do you hear me? I'm in the hospital still, I just got surgery"I didn't hear anything, the line went blank.

"Hello....mom""What happened Jenny? Why didn't you have Josh call me?" I almost hung up the phone.

"Are you kidding me? That's not his responsibility, you're my mother. You're supposed to be here everyday regardless. Not him,he's taking your place because know one else is here for me. You are so selfish. You're talking about having a girl and pregnancy and your daughter has been sitting in the hospital for two months and you've only come to see her three times!. You're sick"

"Jenny I-"

"You know what, no, shut up! you go and have a life with Daniel and your knew daughter, I hope she's worth it!"

I slammed down the phone, she was unbelievable. "I don't get it, if I didn't have you I would literally have know one" tears started rolling down my face as I faced the truth. I was so mad at her I couldn't believe this guy had done this to her. I don't think anyone could console me. Josh came over and kept kissing me but it wasn't enough, my heart was breaking in two. I could feel it."Jenny I love you, don't worry it's okay" I looked at him with tears in my eyes. HE SAID IT! "You mean it!?" I started smiling and he wiped my tears away with his soft hands. "Of course I do, I know this stuff is hard. But I think it brought us closer together and I am sorry about your mother being like this, it's awful but I am not sorry that you and I are closer together" I grabbed his arm and pulled him closer with one hard pull and kissed him deeper than I ever had before "I love you too Josh" he smiled and kissed me again. "Somehow you have an understanding of me that know one else does, I love it" I say watching him as he holds me close,carefully without hurting me. "I will always understand you,without you saying a word" I knew right then and there he was the one. I got that feeling, I knew It was that feeling, that feeling that everyone talked about, the one that everyone always wanted to feel.The weeks dragged on and it was getting old. Everything about this hospital was getting old, the smells, seeing the same people everyday, the colors, the clothes I wore, even the TV shows I was stuck watching throughout the day. The only thing that kept me sane was Josh and knowing that once I got out of here I would be able to go and live with him, I couldn't wait. I felt like I was in a mental institution. My leg was feeling better, the scar was a little bigger than I thought but of course Josh always made me better by being there. Mom didn't come around or call me anymore, I think she was too busy getting ready for her new baby. I was crying less and less, I got used to the pain in my body and the pain in my heart.

One night I was sleeping and I felt someone climb in the bed softly next to me. I knew who it was, I knew the familiar touch,gentleness and sweetness of Josh. I turned around and smiled at him. "Baby" I said rubbing his shoulder. He put his arm around my belly, it felt so good. "I miss you Jenny. I love you so much and I miss you" he was the sweetest. "Awh baby I miss you too" I looked at him and noticed he was crying "I'm sorry that all this stuff happened to you. You don't deserve this and I should of stopped it" I turned over slowly and felt the surging pain rolling through my body. But I didn't care, I wanted to make sure he was okay. "Baby it wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault" I said tears In my eyes. "No, it was I should've swerved the car the other way and chose you over Natalie. I should of told your mom to leave and that she was a horrible mother" tears rolled down his face like rain off flower petals. I kissed him and gave him a hug but it didn't help he just kept crying. "I am so sorry" I grabbed his shoulder "Josh,do you know what helps me. Looking over and seeing your face everyday in that chair for the past two months. Not my mothers,not Daniels, yours" he finally stopped crying and laid on my chest.I knew this had to affect him some way I just was waiting for it to come out. Josh slept with me that night and I didn't feel physical pain in my body, I just felt his pain in his heart. I knew at that moment that I wanted him forever, I wanted him for the rest of my life. He was my other half.

I woke up the next morning and he was gone. Last night with him was sad to me, not because of what Josh had said but because I had never felt that close to anyone to before. I looked over and thought I'd see him there but he was gone, he was completely gone.I started panicking, my heart literally dropped. The nurse came in and I immediately asked "Josh? Where did he go?" The nurse looked at me weirdly "he's getting you breakfast" I relaxed. Wow,I guess my mother leaving me alone really damaged me, I was really afraid of people leaving me. Tears started rolling down my cheek again, damn, I thought I was done with that.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Josh almost ran to my side instantly"Y-you were gone, I woke up and you weren't in the bed or the chair, you were gone" I froze my body was frozen in time. "Awh baby I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you I just, I went to get you breakfast" I couldn't explain why I was so upset with him, I guess I was scared. "I know but you're there every morning and today you weren't just like my mom she was there everyday and then one day she wasn't" he looked at me and grabbed my hand. "That's not your fault Jenny. She's just, she's just being a horrible mother. But that's why I am here, that's why I am going to take care of you" suddenly I really missed mom, It was like a burning feeling in my chest. "I miss her, I want her back and now she has a knew child and won't ever come back" he walked over to the phone and grabbed it. "So call her" he said, pushing the phone into my hand. "And say what?I miss you thanks for leaving me behind for your new baby" I through the blanket off of me because I couldn't punch a pillow. It then hit me that my mom really left me here, at the hospital alone.

Just when I went to go call my mother the doctor knocked on the door. "Did I come at a bad time?" I rolled my eyes but didn't answer. Josh grabbed my hand. "Well Jenny, I have great news" I didn't even want to hear it. "Maybe I should come back later?" He asked. "What is it!?" I yelled uncontrollably. I knew I was upset and it wasn't his fault and I didn't mean to yell at him but I needed someone to take my anger out on. "Well you've been here for two months now and you've been healing quite well so the nurses and I have decided that you can go home at the end of this week" I started crying immediately. I don't know if I was happy or sad or just missing that empty space in my heart but I couldn't stop crying."Thanks for the news. Maybe you can come back later and explain more of the details" Josh said smiling at the doctor. Dr. Chambers left without saying another word. "Please don't think that I don't want to go home with you that's not it" Josh wiped the tears off my face with his gentle hands. "Baby stop, I get it. I know its hard without your mother" I new he would understand "thank you". I kept crying until I went to sleep.The next morning was hot, I had to push my blankets off. I remembered the news I had found out last night and smiled a little.Thank gosh, finally out of this hellhole. "Josh, baby, I go home tomorrow" I looked over and he was sleeping on the edge of my bed again. "Baby" I shook his shoulder and he moaned. "Are you okay babe?" He asked "yes! We go home tomorrow!" He smiled and kissed my forehead, yes we do. I was happy he didn't remind me about my mom because I really didn't want to think about that anymore. I remembered I had a break down about her last night but that was in the past for now.....Thursday went so fast and I couldn't wait to get home with Josh. I just couldn't stop smiling. Though I knew this was going to be a long recovery, at least I knew Josh would be there the whole way through. Dr. Chambers came in with all the nurses that had helped me and with a bunch of paperwork for me to sign. This was it, this was the moment I was waiting for.