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"And I will stumble and fall. I'm learning to love, just starting to crawl."

               - Say Something, A Great Big World

I unlocked the door to the apartment and let my bag drop on the floor. It had been a few days since Bucky died but I still didn't feel slightly better.

I switch on the lights and look around. Everything was exactly how I left it months ago. Just covered in dust. I walk over to where I kept the liquor before and take out the bottle of whiskey. I chuck the cap in the sink and take a swing, not bothering with a glass because I will most likely down the whole thing in a minute.

I know I can't get drunk anymore, but I might as well keep trying. Who's gonna stop me?

There's a knock at the door. I literally just got back, who the hell could it possibly be?

I set the bottle on the counter and open the door. A tall man, dressed in a military uniform stand in front of me.

"Ms. Rogers?" He asks.

"Yeah." I say boredly.

"We've just received a telegram from Agent Carter, she requested us to give you this message." He hands me a small brown envelope and walks away.

I look at the letter questioningly and close the door. I grab my bottle from the counter and plant myself on the couch. I down more of the sour liquid before tearing open the letter.

Dear Alexandra,

I know you shouldn't be finding out this way, but I thought you deserved to know. I'm so sorry to tell you that Steve has perished.

I am forbidden to tell you the details because you are no longer a part of the SSR division, but Steve died a hero. There was a threat headed for New York and he had to act quickly. He died to save you.

He asked me to tell you not to give up, that one day you could be happy again. He loves you and hopes for the best.

Sincerely,

Agent Peggy Carter

I freeze and let the letter drop to the floor. This can't be happening...

A single tear falls down my cheek and I drink more of the whiskey, before chucking it across the room where it crashes into the wall. I scream as loud as I can and flip the glass coffee table over and it smashes, glass covering the floor.

I grab anything and everything in sight and break it. When there's nothing left and the apartment is completely in ruin I look down at the gold ring on my finger.

I take it off and drop it on the counter. I've lost everything, now I have no one left.

I fall to my knees and grab my bag from the floor. I dump everything out on the floor. On top of all my clothes is the gun I kept in the bottom of the bag.

I open the revolver and look for any remaining bullets. There's only one more and I push it in the right position. I close my eyes and put the gun to the side of my head.

Soon it'll all be over.... The sweet release of death.

I take a deep breath and smile at the thought of being reunited with my family.

"NO!" Someone yells and I'm knocked on my back to the floor. I open my eyes and look up. The gun has been knocked from my grasp and I'm being pinned down by someone.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Howard asks bewildered.

I stare up at his face and I feel the tears streaming down the side of my face. "I have no one." I cry softly. His face softens and he lets go of my hands, he pulls me off my back and pulls me into his arms.

"That's not true." He whispers. I sit there and cry in his arms. I don't know how long it's been and I fall asleep.

+

My eyes flutter open and there's a ray of sun coming from the window blanketing my face. I squint and sit up. I'm back on the couch. My mind plays back the events of last night. Howard is gone and there is a note from him on the counter.

I'm sorry I had to leave before you woke. I'll be back in a few hours to check on you so don't do anything stupid, but just to be safe I took you gun.

I crumble up the note and grab some money from my bag. Now I have to go buy another gun. I won't live the rest of my life like this, i'm tired of suffering.

I swing open the door and there's someone waiting for me. I'm about to ask what they want but he steps forward and stabs me in the neck with a syringe filled with green fluid.

A fiery pain fills my veins and I feel myself blacking out. The last thing I hear is two words being spoken.

"Hail Hydra."

AN: DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

Before We Fall ☆ Bucky Barnes {2}Where stories live. Discover now