Before We Fall | Bucky Barnes {2}

11

"I tell my love to wreak it all. Cut out all the ropes and let me fall."

               - Skinny Love, Birdy

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist.

I would have prefered to just exist.

The pain right now is unlike anything i've ever dealt with and my body has never been more physically fine.

People say you will get over the loss of a loved one; You will never learn to live with it. You will heal and rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.

Maybe one day I could 'get over' it, but I will never forgive myself for letting him fall, that's something I have to live with forever.

Steve is off trying to get drunk somewhere and I am currently trying to pack up what few things I have as quickly as possible. I had already tried to get drunk, but the super-soldier serum was preventing any of the alcohol from having an effect.

I hadn't said a word to anyone but Steve, who I told to I was leaving. I should've never come here in the first place and now all I wanna do is cry. I'm of no help to anyone right now. Steve seemed to understand why I needed to go and didn't protest after what happened to Bucky.

"I heard you were leaving." The familiar voice that belongs to Howard comes from the doorway.

"Yeah," I sigh. "Well, I don't a reason to be here anymore."

I continue to pack my bag but he doesn't leave.

"I also heard about Barnes. I'm so sorry." He mentions Bucky and it's so hard not to break down in front of him right now. "You don't have to go you know."

"Yes I do." I state throwing my last shirt in the bag. I sling it over my shoulder then pick up my staff. "Here." I hold it out to him.

"I don't need it anymore." I say in monotone.

"I made that for you, it's yours." He refuses.

I reach out for his hand and place the staff in his hand forcing his to take it. "I don't want it." I say with my teeth clenched, fighting back the tears. He's sees the pain in my eyes and steps out of my way.

I walk through the door and refuse to let myself look back.

AN: I know this chapter was really short, sorry. The next chapter will be of her back in Brooklyn. I might have it up in a hour or two so be patient.

Also this song makes me cry so hard, even if I'm not sad