Confessions of a Muslim Girl

Chapter 20 - Freedom of the Soul

☮    ☮    ☮

            After a headache-inducing night which ended in Zakariya storming off and my mother sitting for an hour at the dinner table with her head in her hands, her plate of food untouched, I wake up the next morning ten minutes late.

            I rush over to my bathroom as quickly as I can. Vigorously brushing my teeth, I freeze when I see my complexion. I have broken out horribly on my left cheek. Three angry red dots make a line around the shape of my face. I finish brushing and washing my face and walk out.

            In my room I try to avoid the mirror. I can already tell this day is going to be like, extremely crappy. It’s raining heavily by the time Zak and I get out of the house. What is with bad days and heavy rain?

            The car ride passes by in tense silence. When we get to school, I reluctantly get out of the car, knowing that whether I go or stay, I’m not going to be happy. My morning classes all pass in a blur; my pounding head can’t process or remember anything after I’ve done it.

            As I’m about to walk into Chemistry class, I’m stopped by Niall, who seems like he’s out of breath. “Maysa!” I turn reluctantly.

            “Hi, Niall.” A hopeful expression crosses his face as I greet him civilly. I don’t have the energy to muster a better response, or rather, a worse one.

            “So…I was thinking…” He trails off.

            “You were thinking…” I prod. He thinks? That’s news to me.

            “Um…you like M&Ms…right?” He asks hesitantly.

            I nod again, still not understanding. “Yes…the regular ones. Not the peanut kind. Why?”

            Niall brandishes a pack of plain M&Ms from behind his back. I stare at the chocolate brown packet, not knowing or processing anything. I signal at him with my eyes to explain himself. “I…some kids were selling them last period so I bought two. I don’t really want this one, so um…do you want it?” He’s rubbing his neck awkwardly.

            After five long seconds, I finally smile widely. What can I say? It’s like a sweet turn to my sour morning. “Thanks, Niall. I never knew I told you I liked them.” I beam at him and walk inside. He looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t.

            Shrugging it off, I muster the courage to get through lunch with a frail smile on my face. Farah and Noha sense my mood and both go to lengths to make me feel a little better. I sigh; it always feels like something is going on in my life.

I sometimes wish life was like a roller coaster – not because I enjoy the twists and the turns and the bumpy ride, but because at least there’s the hope of being able to get off.

☮    ☮    ☮

            Coach Montoya looks like she’s about to burst; her pregnant belly looks like a full moon. “Hello, class!” She greets tiredly. Even she looks like she’s not having that great of a day. And then I remember. Today’s her last day. I mentally smack myself for being so forgetful.

            “Today’s my last day here…I won’t be back for another two months. So I want y’all to meet the new girls’ coach who will be filling in for me, ok?”

            On cue, the door swings open and everybody’s eyes turn to the stiff-looking woman who enters. “Everyone, this is Coach Todd! She’ll be the coach while I’m gone. She will also be coaching the remaining soccer practices and games.”