Sweater // Larry ✔️

three

I walk up to Harolds house and stand by his door, unable to see clearly due to the tears in my eyes and too tired to even attempt to knock.

I slide onto the floor, sobs escaping my mouth and I bang my head against the wall. Only to groan and bring my head back to between my knees.

"Louis?" I hear a whisper and a creak as the door behind me opens.

"Louis are you okay, baby?" he says opening the door fully and sitting next to me by the wall, taking my head and facing it towards him.

"Are you okay? Tell me what's wrong?" He says, still in a whisper.

"Haz," I say, "I messed up. I-i messed up bad."

"It's okay Lou, just tell me what's wrong so I can help you." he presses his forehead against mine and looks at the straight in the eye whiping my tears.

"I did drugs," I tell him in my 'i just got puberty' voice, "I did bad drugs and I really liked it and I did it again and my mom found out and she- she isn't happy. But I didn't care because I was happy and- and she said that I was a disappointment. That I should die. I know she was just mad but I left and came to you and you probably don't care anymore because you haven't talked to me in weeks I just don't have anyone. I want to die Haz. Please make it stop."

Harry sighs and hugs me and I sob into his arms.

-

"Louis?" I hear as I jump awake from my bed in my dorm room. Tears are running down my face as Harry looks at me in concern.

"Are you okay?" he questions.

I wipe my tears and shake my head, quickly getting out of bed and getting my medication and opening it after multiple tries.

"I, uh, what are to doing? Why do you need those?" Harry questions.

I ignore his questions and look at the time, only to see that it's early on a Saturday. I have no classes.

I lay back down on my bed and wipe my eyes. I haven't had a dream like that in two years. I dont like those memories coming back. Those memories ruined me.

"Do you need to talk about it?" Harry asks slowly.

I shake my head and with a sigh and lay the bed beside me. Beckoning him to sit with me.

He does and I lay my head on his shoulder saying, "tell me something deep and personal about you."

Harry nods and adds, "only if you say something deep and personal in return."

I nod against his shoulder and he says, "my dad abused me until I was twelve years old. Your turn."

"Three years ago I went to a phych ward for drug abuse and depression. I still take meds to help me deal with it." I say, "the dream I had was like a flash back to when I smoked my first illegal drug at fourteen."

Harry looks at me with wide eyes and nods understanding my and saying, "you know, that yellow sweater you wear?"

I nod, knowing exactly what sweater he is talking about. I got it ages ago from my first boyfriend.

"I really like it. It reminds me of a sweater I used to have." He says, kissing my temple and jumping off of my small twin sized bed.

I sigh and close my eyes laying down on the bed as Harry talks, "a couple of friends and I are going out for breakfast and to the gym, maybe a movie. Do you want to join?"

I shake my head and reply with, "nah, I have a shit ton of work and I need to catch up on sleep and this dorm is a mess, I think I will do a couple of things around here today." I explain, "thanks for the offer though."