Misfortunes of Black Women

Dignity

Please be aware that this book is SHORT STORIES only! They are short stories that depict the unappreciated black woman and the trial and tribulations that she encounters. You will see mistakes so please ignore them.

Warning, this chapter holds mature content.

                       Dignity

                       Trial #3

I couldn't believe I was out here. I put the hood of my jacket over my head and stuffed my hands in my pocket as the soft rain poured over me.

Some would call me stupid, ignorant, and even a hoe; but i didn't see it that way. I was in love and even though he didn't love me back I took what I could get from him. Even if that meant him using my body.

I quickly walked down the sidewalk as I hated being in this neighborhood especially when the streetlights were starting to come on.

Wiping the sweat from my forehead I was glad to make it to the apartments. I knocked on his door and waited for him to answer.

"Finally your ass made it." he said once he snatched the door open and dragged me in, but I was in love with him so it was okay.

His name was Angel Lee. A mix between hispanic and black, with a curly top fade, and tattoos on his chest. He lived and breathed the hood, that was all he knew. He lived in a broken home where his mother was barely home and they didn't have any food or furniture.

I walked in and saw a group of his friends smoking, drinking, and laughing amongst each other. They became quiet as they saw me enter and I saw some even began to laugh and make jokes about me.

Rolling my eyes and looking away from them, they were the type of guys to do a girl dirty and record it. I was pushed towards the hallway by Angel and shoved in his room.

"You don't have to push me." I mumbled annoyed. I took down my hood and ran my hands threw the cheap synthetic hair that I brought from my local beauty supply. I could never afford the luxury of having human hair or even paying someone to install it.

"Stop playing games Cherise. I ain't with the shits today!" he yelled in my face. I hated when I annoyed him, I never wanted to make him angry in any way possible.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to." I whimpered trying to wrap my arms around his waist only for him to shove me away.

He glared at me as I dropped on to the bed. "Why you always making shit difficult? You know what you here for so get to it." he said.

I sniffled and took off my jacket revealing the orange shirt that had tiny holes in it. I looked up in to his bright demonic eyes as I began to unbuckle his pants.

As my mouth connected to his dick I began to think of how I begin to even star in this position. I knew Angel back in middle school when him and my older sister use to date. Back then, I hate to admit but middle school kids were more ruthless than high schoolers.

My sister would always invite him to our apartment after school since my mom didn't get home until around 6. I would always listen at the door and hear them having sex.

When my sister got pregnant my mom shipped her off to live with her dad. We didn't have the same dad, I didn't even know who mine was, but I heard my sister had a miscarriage and is now living lavishly in a nice big house in the suburbs.

At some point Angel turned his attention to me and unfortunately growing up with low self-esteem and without a father to show me how to be loved I wasn't sure what it was suppose to be like.

So here I was, having sex with a guy who couldn't care less about how I feel or think. Angel was my first and I loved him, but it would never be returned unfortunately.

"You love me right?" he asked as he roughly slid in and out of me choking me lightly.

"You already know I do." I moaned out gripping on to his back. Loving the way it tensed every time he thrust in me.

He smirked. "Would you do anything for me?" he asked.

"Like what?" I moaned. He know had my legs resting on his shoulder as they my thighs were squeezed together to created more pressure.

"Your shit so good, you know that right?" he said licking his thumb and rubbing on my clit. "My boys in the front room, wanna know what its like." he whisphered.

"No!" I cried out trying to get out of his reach, but all he did was tighten his grip on my neck.

"No?" he asked stopping all his movements and then he began to laugh. "You might as well get dressed and get the fuck out." he said hopping up from the bed.

I wiped my eyes and nose. "I don't want to leave." I whispered. He just stood there staring at me as I cried. Where had my dignity gone? Was I this messed up that I allowed this? The answer was a quick and sad,yes.

"Okay I'll do it." I told him watching the smirk sneak up on his face. I watched him throw on his boxers and exit the room. I too that moment to examine myself in his full length mirror that hung on his door.

I was average. Less than average I was basic. I was just a regular skinny black chick. My breast were bigger than my body and held an unnecessary sag. My ass was nonexistent, it wasn't perky nor fat it wasn't there at all. I had severe acne due to high levels of stress and extreme discoloration on my face.

I jumped away from the door due to it slamming open and Angel and his group of friends barged in. I quickly shield my body as Angel pushed me on the bed.

"The fuck you hiding for?" one of his friends asked laughing. "Ain't shit special about that mosquito bite booty you got." he joked causing everyone to laugh.

Here I was, minutes later, having my body used and abused by a group of guys who have belittled me and degraded me ever since I walked through the door.

A small voice in the back of my head was asking myself continuously 'WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?' A question that I could not give an answer too.

"What the fuck are y'all doing?" I heard a loud female voice squeal.

I felt two of the guys lift off of me and I looked under my weave that was now attached to my face due to sweat and watched Angel's girlfriend standing there in disbelief.

"What the hell Angel? I leave you for a few hours and you and your friends are running a train on some nasty hoe in our bed!? Are you kidding me right now?" she asked.

"Baby calm down." Angel said walking up to her and trying to grab her.

"Don't tell me to calm down." she said pushing him. "Get this hoe and your nasty ass friends out of here Angel. Now!" she said.

"You going to let your bitch talk to you like that?" one of his friends said causing all of them to laugh.

"Aye shut the fuck up, y'all need to bounce anyways." he said with force. I just continue to lay there not knowing what to do.

"Bitch you not special! You need to go too." Angel said addressing me now.

"Go where Angel? You know I don't have anywhere to go." I mumbled sitting up. The guys began to exit the room as I stayed sitting in his bed naked and his girlfriend stood there with her arms crossed in annoyance.

He picked up my clothes and threw them at me. "Find somewhere then." he told me.

I didn't move as I stayed looking at my clothes not sure where to go next. After the years, me and my mother's relationship died along with her respect for me.

"Is this bitch going to stay here? You better handle this Angel." she told him.

He sighed and grabbed my hair yanking it and dragging me out of the room and down the hall. "I told yo ass to leave didn't I?" Angel said opening the door and and pushing me naked as the day I was born with my clothes still in my hand.

So here I was, sitting outside of his apartment naked and putting on my clothes slowly as the rain poured down on me. Where did I go wrong? Where did I lose my sense of self-respect and dignity?

I was lost. I was afraid that I couldn't be found.