Living the Life of Riley | ✔

Chapter Nineteen

“Because I was just a lay to you.  You knew I wouldn’t take it further and we both knew you just wanted to lose your virginity to someone you knew.”  He was right on the face that I knew Mason wouldn’t take it further.  For God’s sake, the guy was a manwhore.  “Mars, you’re lonely.  Why else do you sleep with thousands of guys?  Why else would you keep the baby?”

“Have you ever thought that I like sex?  That I’m not going to get rid of an innocent life?  Girls don’t have sex because they’re lonely!  Sometimes they like it too.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Mars.  You slept with a guy at least thrice, right?  I have never known you to do that, not unless it was-“

“Don’t.”  I growled.  I didn’t need to hear his name again.  Not now, not ever.

“Mars-“

“I mean it.  Seriously.  I’ll walk out of here and you won’t be able to find me.  Trust me, I can just disappear.”  I threatened.  If he even repeated that rat’s name, I’d run.  I didn’t need to relive any painful memories.  I’d rather just leave them in the past where they belonged.

“Fine.  But not every guy is like him, you know?  Maybe you should give this Tom guy a chance.”

“Tristan.  Thom is his brother.”  I corrected.

“Alright.  Whatever.  But you should give this guy a chance.”  Mason seemed genuine.  That was one of the good things about him, he never gave advice he didn’t mean.  Actually, he never said anything he didn’t mean.  It caused quite a few fights – especially with those who couldn’t handle the things they were told.

“And get my feelings hurt?  No thank you.”

“I was beginning to think you were as cold as ice.  Nice to know you’re not.”  He chuckled.  Mason knew a side of me that no-one really encountered: the side that actually considered people’s feelings.  It rarely showed its face.  “But come on, why would he pick anyone over you?”

“How about the fact that his ex is a hottie?  Not only that but I’m going to balloon up even more.  No-one wants a fat girlfriend.”

“Now come on, don’t be so shallow Marsy.  No matter what your size is, someone’s going to love you.  People love you and you’re practically the Ice Queen.”  It could have been seen as an insult, by anyone except me.  I knew what Mason was getting at, I knew the path he might take this conversation down.  “And the Ice Queen never gets hurt.”

“Touché.  But there’s still the fact that I’m pregnant.  It’s gotta be awkward for a guy to grow up and raise someone else’s child as his own.”

“Thinking about the future?”  He winked.  I growled slightly.

“No.  It’s a hypothetical future.  Or something like that.  Even if we were in a relationship, you’d still have to see the child – who would look nothing like you.  I don’t know.  It’s something to do with principles maybe.  I have no clue what I’m on about.”

 “Alright.  I take your point.  But you shouldn’t be afraid.”

"I didn’t say I was.”

“You didn’t need to say.”  I kept quiet at that.  I didn’t feel the need to retaliate.  What else would I say?  He knew me better than anyone, even better than Dylan.  Nothing I could say could make him change his advice.  “Mara, you need to give yourself a chance.  You’ve had a shitty life and you deserve some happiness.  Even if it’s temporary.”

“Temporary happiness is worse than not being happy.”  Was all I said.  It was my final word on the subject.  I left no room for any other discussion.  Mason could argue but I was sticking with my decision.  For now.

“Fine.  You do what you want, like you always do.”  He snapped at me.  I didn’t feel frightened, worried or angry.  Rather, I was calm.  It was an odd feeling, it didn’t sit right.  At this point, we would get into a heated argument before taking a few hours or even days to be calm with each other.  That was normal.  This was not.  It was like that phrase – ‘calm before the storm’ or something.

            I didn’t speak.  Not even my breath could be heard.  An uncomfortable silence surrounded us which was unusual.  This was the first time in years since Mason and I had had an uncomfortable silence.  I didn’t like it.

“So…”  I said.  It was the usual thing anyone would say to break the silence.  Try and make a conversation.  Anything to fill this never-ending silence.

“You know that Kaya will probably be terrified, right?”

“I doubt it.  She knows what I’m like.”

“Exactly.”  Caramel eyes stared into mine.  “She knows what you’re like and she knows you’re pregnant.  It’s not exactly the best combination.”

“She knows I won’t do anything stupid.  I haven’t even had a God-damn cigarette since I found out I was pregnant.  It’s not exactly the easiest thing, you know?”  I huffed.  I mean, the cravings had stopped… kind of.  But every so often I did want a cigarette but I knew I couldn’t.  That was the worst part.

“I wouldn’t know.  But it’s also Christmas Eve.  Shouldn’t you be with your family?”

“I am.”  I defended myself – Mason was my family.  There was no doubt about it.

“You know what I mean.”  Again, I was silent.  “Look, I’ll drive you back and stay with you.  My mum’s gone off to Barcelona with her new fling for Christmas.  I can break the tension between you and your mother.”

“I don’t want to go back.”

“You’ve got no choice.  I’ll drag you if I have to, and don’t think I can’t.  Just because you’re carrying someone else doesn’t mean I’m not strong enough.”  A slight smile appeared on lips.  The left corner of his lip curled slightly.  It was his smile for those he’d like to bed.

“What use is it going back?”

“I’ve never heard of you running away from your problems.  You normally face them head on.”

“I told you I was taking a break from everything.  It’s not running away.”  That felt like a lie.  This was the most cowardly thing I’d ever done.  I should have stayed.  But I ran.  I ran from Kelly.  I ran from what he was saying because I couldn’t handle it.  But that wasn’t me.  Samara Ray didn’t cower from anything.

“Are you sure?”

“Do you know what?  Let’s go.  You’re right, I am running away and Samara Ray doesn’t run.  She fights back.”  I was going to show people who I was.  Samara Ray was back in business and the first thing to do was to show my mother that she didn’t deserve family.

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Okay, guys, I'm really sorry for not updating for 3 months, but I did this chapter in two days.  I know where I want the story to go it's just writing and getting there.  But yes, I am sorry for not updating - although I opened up this chapter and found that I'd written a lot but it wasn't... right.  This version is much better.

Anyway, hope you guys will forgive me (A2 is a lot harder and more work filled than I thought, along with UCAS) and enjoy this chapter! :)