Life is an unintended tragicomedy where the roles of the sexes cause mental disorders and chaos. We play our roles like hysteric amateurs, stumbling on the stage like we were there constantly the first time. The roles we have in this fairytale play are written by somebody else and we have great difficulties fitting them. But we try, very hard.
It seems we spend almost whole of our lives trying to find out what a man is supposed to be like, and what kind of a woman a woman should be. This is where we are under the strong pressure of the parents, the church, the school, the army, the friends around us. How a man should dress, how to cut his hair, how to speak, how to walk, how to express his sexuality, even how to smell – all is regulated. It is also a rule, that a man and a woman must reproduce, that is the very essence of being a man and a woman. All other aspects of sexuality not aiming at reproduction, like masturbation or homosexuality, are therefore condemned. Well, this makes the life so easy and frees us of all personal consideration. No need to think about what kind of personal desires one might have.
The fundamental fact is that the sexes are different. A woman can’t grow herself testicles and a man has no hope of ever giving birth. There are also other clear differences, like the size of the brain and the intelligence. The older I grow the more convinced I get about the women being the more intelligent sex. Women don’t drink too much, they don’t smoke too much, they don’t get so stressed they would destroy their bodies and that’s why they live approximately seven years longer than men. I think that is intelligence.
It is of course somewhat difficult to write about the roles and the differences of the sexes because one’s viewpoint always represents only the other half of the mankind. This has not bothered everyone, like those learned men in their sixties having self-confidently written thick volumes proclaiming the final truth about the feminine orgasm, but I’d rather not comment on that, because of sheer masculine loyalty. I just wonder why it is so hard to be the man -named creature, why it is connected with so many beliefs, rules, delusions and lies.
What you must not be
A little boy learns quickly in the kindergarten or when starting school that the worst names he could ever be called are homo or miss. He doesn’t know what the h-word exactly means but miss is a woman, so the most humiliating and avoidable thing is connected with girls and women. So he tries very hard to prove himself being so far from the girls and their behavior as ever possible. This consumes a lot of plaster and band aid, stitches, gasoline and the nerves of the parents. Then some years later in the first psychology lessons he gets stunned: what is this talk about every man having his inner femininity and girls having their slice of masculinity. What the hell, the feminine me? All this hard trying to be the right kind, and now this shrink is setting new standards.
Because the man has this simple straight-tube brain structure, he can handle only one explanation at the time. A man is a man, or he is not. For a woman it is much easier to be mostly a woman, having different grades, a little bit of this but sometimes also that, many options simultaneously.
The women have widened their sex roles bit by bit: they wear trousers, blue jeans, sweaters and flannel shirts like men. They hug and touch other women quite freely, they discuss openly their genital infections or orgasm difficulties and see nothing worth commenting if two women share an apartment. Men, instead, have not started to use dresses or high heels, they are very reserved if touching each other and they rather shoot themselves than tell other men about their erection problems. Two men sharing an apartment is very dubious and should at least be kept totally secret.
A man is a perfect creature to be digitalized. Everything in a man is one or zero, like in a computer. It is a mission impossible to try to digitalize a woman. Modern technology is not yet capable of constructing the triple core processor needed.
Don’t you dare to think
If one calls a woman lesbian, she probably won’t get confused or angry, she may even be flattered because of the special attention she got. A man is ready to kill the one calling him homosexual or gay or whatever term used. Nothing can be a bigger insult, and that’s why a man spends so much of his time in constant showing and repeating that he is not gay. It is really hard work, all the time one must be alert, read and learn so many lousy anti-gay jokes, tell lies about visiting brothels and try to be extreme-masculine.
Poor man is so scared of homosexuals. The man in the shop counter said hello, I suspect he is gay. The other man in the gym’s locker room talked to me, he was taking advantages, I suspect. The taxi-driver was gazing at me through the mirror, definitely gay. A colleague at work put his hand on my shoulder asking something, eh, go away gay and try somebody else. No wonder men are stressed and die younger than women. Life is so hard on them.
Dreams can tell
A man’s fear of a homosexual grows the bigger the nearer him it gets. That’s why he is most scared of the homosexual living inside of him. That damned tenant, which the shrinks call ‘you inner woman’ or ‘your feminine self’ causes so much trouble and it can’t be thrown out, no matter how hard one tries. It sometimes makes you think ‘doesn’t that man look good’ or in the worst case makes you have a dream of some Roman orgies with naked women and also naked well-shaped men. Oh hell! After that kind of a dream a man is sure he is turning gay and considers opening his veins. A woman, instead, would find this new type of bisexual dream very inspiring because things are getting nicely more complicated and she probably immediately wants to share it with her girlfriend.
Six buckets of sperm
The church has throughout the history been afraid that people stop reproducing. This must have meant some catastrophe where workers and slaves were too few and priests had to make it without servants. So the most pleasant free amusement of human beings, having sex, has been strictly regulated and connected only to the reproduction, thus prohibiting also masturbation and homosexuality.
A man gets in his average lifetime some 5000 ejaculations, producing some 5-6 buckets of sperm. It means something like two thousand millions sperm cells, two of which become something. The other becomes John Albert and the other Mary Rose. When you think of it, there should be plenty enough material even to be wasted just for fun.
All the regulations and delusions of how to behave and how to express your sexuality cause so much anxiety and confusion. One mistake is perhaps to think that sexuality is something totally stable, black or white, one or zero. This believed determination creates unnecessary fear and worry.
In reality, I think in human brain there is a kind of transparent tube inside which there is a blue marble. In the other end of the tube there is the totally heterosexual mind and in the other end there is the totally homosexual mind. Where the blue marble is, determines the sexual feelings of the person. Most of the people have the marble moving somewhere near one or the other end, but sometimes the marble can make bigger moves. That may be the scary moment when very masculine men can bump into their inner woman.
(To read more fairytales for adults, please read the book "Who programmed you?" or "Chi ti ha programmato?" www.bookfellow.net/8 )
