SULA AND ROCKY

SUNSET

TRIGGER WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE.

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THE WAVES come in steady at first, and they pull back with every step I take forward. Shutting my eyes, I hear the wind whistle a soft tune and the sun warms my skin, the tiny hairs on my forearms slick with sweat. I breathe in, then out, drowning out the sound of children playing all around me. Shouldn't they be in school? Never mind, they don't matter anymore. I get closer to the water, my toes sinking into the wet sand, but I keep moving till my ankles are submerged. My heart throbs against my chest, I feel the water calling me, lapping up the sight of me returning to it once again. I smile, everything feels right for the first time since dad died. The thoughts stop turning and it's just me and the ocean. As a kid, he took me here every week to try and teach me how to swim but I was too afraid of drowning. Even as he held my hand and promised that he wouldn't let anything bad happen to me, I just couldn't kick my legs and stay afloat. Maybe this time I didn't have to.

Before I know it the water is at my waist, it's finally happening, I'm going and going till suddenly a strong arm pulls me out of the depths. My eyes shoot open and I'm met with his. He's familiar to me, the dark green eyes and tanned skinned pulled tightly over his chiselled features. Sound escapes me, I think he's trying to say something, but I can't hear a thing. Just the sound of my heart and the waves thrumming softly.

"Are you okay?" I don't remember getting out of the water but suddenly I'm sitting with sand between my toes, a towel around my shoulders. The boy is Rocky Laing, and I had completely forgotten that he volunteered as a lifeguard every other weekend. He hands me a hot chocolate and sits beside me, his own hair wet against his forehead and a red whistle around his neck. Rocky was in the year above and on the swim team at school, not only that but he dated my best friend Olive for a while. Their breakup was messy to say the least. I nod, thanking him for the hot chocolate as it sent a surge of luxurious warmth through my bones. I didn't know I needed it till then. "You scared me, Sula." His brows knit together thoughtfully as he watches me.

"I'm fine." My cheeks redden as I feel his gaze on my skin, and I pull the towel tighter around my body. The last thing I wanted was the most popular boy in school witness me trying to drown myself. If that was what you were going to call it. "I don't know what you think you saw but—"

I feel Rocky's tender hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry I'm not going to tell anyone." His smile is kind, not the sort that pities you, but it tells me that he understands, and I wouldn't have to say a word.

We both stare out at the horizon, watching the sky meet the sea as it starts to turn pink and the suns begins to settle. Everyone starts heading inside, the beach gets quieter and Rocky doesn't leave my side. Neither of us say a word until it's dark, and he asks me if I want a ride home.

I don't live far from the beach and I could easily walk but he wouldn't take no for an answer, so I let him drive me in his dark red hummer. When he and Olive dated, I'd spent many times in the back seat, watching them both loved up in the front but this time it was just me, him and the moon that graciously washed us in a milky glow. When I get home, I don't know how to explain to my Mum where I had been or what I was planning to do. Looking back, it was selfish and stupid, and I couldn't put her through that again.  Rocky saved my life.

Rocky parks outside my house, right behind my Mum's white Honda. "Thanks," I say to him as I unbuckle my belt. Looking down, I realise I'm wearing his grey hoodie with the swim team emblem on it. Olive wouldn't take this thing off during the first month of them dating and here I am.

"Keep it." Rocky stops me from trying to take it off, if Olive ever finds me with this she'd freak out in all the worst possible ways. "Can I give you my number?"

"What?" I blink, making sure that I'd heard him correctly.

"If you ever find yourself in a dark place again. Call me, okay?" He almost looks beautiful under the yellow car light, his lips full and warm toned as the words come pouring out. They were the last place I expected them to come from. "Or if you need anything at all. Call me." He's firm enough for me to believe him so I take out my phone so he can enter his digits.

"See you around, Rocky." My smile isn't as bright as his, or as thoughtful but it's the best I can do, and I hope he knows that.

"Bye, Sula."