blue ; gallavich

19

"Well, Mandy, and officer wouldn't do something like this, so we'd already be in the hospital." Caleb informs her matter-of-factly. Mandy turns on her heels and walks up to Caleb, so close that their faces touch.

"You listen to me and you listen fucking good. When you love someone like Mick loves Ian, you do anything to save them. Even if it means bashing your father's head into the fucking concrete! So don't tell me what and what not to do. If you cared about Ian then you'd be in the hospital right now, Caleb. But, no. Instead you're here trying to tell me what's wrong and what's fucking right. Ya know, this is actually your fault." Mandy glares at Caleb and her voice sounds so calm its terrifying. "If you didn't cheat on Ian then he wouldn't have had to run to my brother. And if that didn't happen then he wouldn't have nearly died. So you are the one who should be held accountable." She pushes his chest with her finger, slightly shoving him backwards. Lip steps up next to her, hand on hips.

"Does she need to keep going? Or can we get the fuck out of here before my brother dies?!" Lip yells angrily as the lady leans down to unlock my handcuffs.

"Just." She stops and looks at me. "Don't keep going down this path. Don't end up like your father." She begs me as I run out of the station, my sister and Lip behind me. I look around before realizing that they didn't bring a car so I charge down the street as fast as I can, my feet stomping hard along the pavement and my lungs struggling for air.

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I don't stop until I reach the hospital doors, swinging them open and running inside. My heart pounds and my stomach churns with nerves as I see Fi and the kids sitting in the waiting room. Everyone except for Carl seems to have been crying, actually Debbie hasn't stopped as she uses Fiona's shirt as a tissue. Liam wails but he's not old enough to understand the situation, lucky for him.

"Ian." I cry to the lady at the front desk. "Ian Gallagher. Where is he? Is he okay? Did he die?" The lady sitting down gives me a cold stare and panic rushes through me. "Oh God. Oh no no no. Fuck he's dead. He- I. He's-"

"Mickey." Carl says calmly, placing a boney hand on my shaking shoulder. "Calm down. He's not dead." He reassures me as I restlessly run my hands through my hair. Carl goes back to sit as I pace the hallways in anticipation, biting my tongue so hard that I can taste the coppery blood push out of it. I can't even describe how nervous I am. After not talking for hours all of the thoughts and words I had bouncing around my brain spilled out of me and led me into what I'm guessing is a panic attack.

I lean my head against a wall as Debbie approaches me, holding out a plastic cup of water. I take it graciously and she unexpectedly wraps her arms around me, embracing me in a hug. I'm not sure how to react at first; I'm not used to getting affectionate with Ian's younger siblings. But I realize that she needs it more than I do so I hug her back. It surprisingly helps me calm down- not by a lot, but I can feel my breathing get softer as my heart still beats like I drum. It's impossible to be calm in this situation.

Lip and Mandy enter the hospital, and some girl follows them- who I'm guessing is Carl's girlfriend by the way he tightly grabs her. I finally see him lose it, as she wraps him up desperately and his shoulders shake like an earthquake. Lip and Mandy both hug Fiona soothingly and seeing everyone so torn up makes me feel ten times worse. The guilt soon washes over me as I can feel myself becoming more vulnerable and my walls start tumbling down more and more. I'm trying so hard not to cry to the point where it physically hurts my heart, it throbs and pounds for me to release the toxic sadness that has taken over it. I try so fucking hard to resist it, but I soon give up when I feel as if I'm about to have a heart attack.