Love to Hate [1]

I know you're trying to forget.

"So," Bellamy said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Unity Day. Is this the first one you've actually celebrated?" he asked me. I was glad for the chance to talk about something light, something other than my family. 

"Oh no, I used to throw some wild Unity Day parties up in the vents," I joked. "I'm surprised you never heard of them. They were pretty exclusive though. Only the coolest people got invited." 

Bellamy laughed. I realized it was probably the first time I had heard him laugh since we got here. It was nice to hear, and a little off-putting. "Oh, now that you mention it, I did hear about a girl who secretly lived in the vents and threw rowdy parties. That was you?" he played along. 

"Oh, yeah, they were crazy. I swear Jaha even showed up once," I whispered conspiratorially. "He's actually the life of the party." We both laughed at this. I had never had conversations like this with anyone before and I was enjoying it immensely. "Being serious now, this is the first Unity Day I've ever celebrated. I remember when my dad and sister would leave to go to parties and they explained why people were celebrating, but obviously I never got to go. And one time I hung out in the vent above a party and watched through the grate. They seemed like a lot of fun." I trailed off, remembering. 

"They were ok. If you were fine with forgetting what you were celebrating was a load of bullshit," Bellamy responded, staring at the fire. I took another swig of moonshine and raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Not a fan of Unity Day I take it?" He shook his head. "Me neither. Tell me what's unified about chucking someone in prison just for being alive." I finished bitterly. My words were starting to slur a little. I took another drink from the flask. God, this stuff burned going down. 

I must have made a face because Bellamy chuckled again. "Not a fan of alcohol I take it?" he asked playfully. I shook my head.

"I haven't really made my decision yet. This is my first time trying it and while it does taste like shit I can't complain about how it makes you feel," I responded thoughtfully. Bellamy nodded in agreement. 

"So did you really never interact with anyone on the Ark besides your dad and sister?" he asked warily. It was clear he was curious but he also didn't want to get into a touchy subject. 

I shook my head again. "Nope. My sister was never allowed to have friends over and my dad didn't trust anyone enough to share the secret. And I never left the room. I'm sure you know all about that. Octavia hadn't interacted with anyone on the outside either, right?" 

"Actually, she went to a masquerade party once. That was actually how she got caught. I thought since everyone would be wearing masks she'd be safe. She ended up having a great time until then though," he said quietly. I could tell I had accidentally hit on a touchy subject. 

"Well, that's longer than I ever was outside without getting caught," I tried to brighten his mood. "So, no. No friends for me. Not till I got here. That's why I'm not so great with the whole 'people' thing," I explained.

Bellamy was staring at me intently, obviously thinking about something. Then he stood up, offering me a hand to help me up as well. "Well, sitting here alone isn't going to fix that. Come on, it's time you celebrated Unity Day properly." I took his hand but I was nervous.

"I'm not so sure about this," I said. He pulled me over to where Clarke and two other kids were playing some sort of game involving alcohol. 

"Clarke," Bellamy called. She turned, her eyes shining from the effects of the moonshine. He gestured to me. "Nessa wants to play."

"Oh, no, I don't want-" I started to say, but he pushed me forward. 

"Interact," he whispered to me before walking away. Leaving me alone, completely out of my element. 

"Come on! It's fun, I'll teach you," Clarke grabbed my hand. I looked at the two she was playing with. The boy smiled at me and I smiled back, blushing. I could still feel him looking at me as Clarke told me the rules of the game. He was kinda cute. Maybe interacting wasn't so bad after all. 

Bellamy's POV 

I smiled as I watched Nessa finally enjoying herself. She got the hang of the game pretty quickly and was now truly drunk. She laughed and smiled more easily, talking with Clarke and the others as if she had known them for years. I did feel a twinge every time she and Sterling exchanged glances, though. I knew what he was doing, even if she most likely didn't. If she hadn't interacted with anyone outside of her family, she surely had never been exposed to a boy trying to get with her. I told myself I was keeping an eye on them for her safety, that I would do the same for Octavia, but I could tell that wasn't really the reason. 

Finally Finn pulled Clarke away from the game and Fox went to talk to her other friends, and it was just Sterling and Nessa, standing way too close to each other. I narrowed my eyes as they tried to walk over and find somewhere to sit down, Nessa clearly stumbling from drunkenness. Sterling put a hand on her waist to catch her but didn't remove it once she regained her balance. He whispered something in her ear and she giggled and nodded. He grabbed her hand and led her out of the main area, towards the drop ship where it was dark and secluded. 

There was no way I was letting this happen. I had to intervene. She was too drunk, too naive, too innocent to know what was going on. That's what I told myself at least. I followed them after a few minutes, walking around the drop ship. I found them leaning against the back of it. They were furiously making out, her hands in his hair and his wrapped around her waist.

I saw red.

I strode up to them and shoved Sterling back. He fell to the ground. "What the hell do you think you're doing," I said in a low voice, trying not to beat the shit out of him. He looked pretty scared. Good.

"Bellamy?! What the hell are you doing?" Nessa demanded. I turned and looked at her. She was furious, green eyes blazing. 

"You don't understand what you're doing. You're too drunk, he's trying to take advantage of you. He's a criminal for crying out loud!" I yelled. I didn't understand why I was this mad. If it had been anyone else I wouldn't have cared. Would have let it happen.

"If you haven't noticed, genius, we're all criminals! That's the whole fucking reason we're here! And I can make my own decisions! I'm a big girl, you don't need to go around protecting me all the time! I know you think of me like Octavia but you seriously need to chill!" And with that she whirled around to go back to the party. Sterling had run off long ago.

I sighed. "No, I definitely don't think of you like Octavia."